Whelp. I did it. Day 4. Contemplated cashing in on a 10min. quickie, but did the whole thing.
20 min. walk, including a hill
How are you doing? Is there anyone out there anymore? I need some links to blogs that are actually updated.
(Each
represents 1 pound gone)
338|
| 286
53 gone, 87 more to go to 198
365 Days of Exercize - Day 3
20 minute walk
Nothing fancy, same mindless route I always take when I'm down to doing business. I SO wanted to cash in on one of my 10min. sessions, but didn't. It was SUPER humid, SUPER hot, SUPER grouse. I should NOT have been sweating, but I was and profusely. I felt like I was wearing full-body armor in the sweltering desert.
But I survived.
Nothing fancy, same mindless route I always take when I'm down to doing business. I SO wanted to cash in on one of my 10min. sessions, but didn't. It was SUPER humid, SUPER hot, SUPER grouse. I should NOT have been sweating, but I was and profusely. I felt like I was wearing full-body armor in the sweltering desert.
But I survived.
My Worst Enemy
I now am on Twitter. Who isn't? We'll see if I use it.
_____
Also, I'm feeling the least motivated I have in a long time. I'm also feeling very, largely fat. And sluggish. I'm not sure what to attribute that to. Could be my period. Could just be the resolution that I am going to spiral into a 500 pound mass of skin and fat that never leaves the house unless aided by a scooter.
What happened? What is happening to me? I'm sure people look at me and see a loss of self-control, probably something dirty. I see people looking at my flabby flop of a belly, too, more than I used to now that it is hanging down like dirty laundry. I hate it. I don't like my body. I can't stand it, sometimes, feeling trapped - claustrophobic - in my pounds of fat.
But, coupled with that, I'm also feeling resigned and scared. I think I'm scared to lose weight, lose what I've become and who I am. Talk about being a bipolar mess -
Oh.
Hmm. OK.
Lightbulb moment. Yeah sure, I'm a bipolar mess, but I think I know where my balls went. They cozied up to a dastardly beast called STRESS.
I can pretty much peg my descend into having a belly that droops like baby in a sling, and a weight-gain of 20 pounds - it happened this past year. The most STRESSFUL time I've had in my entire life. Like being attacked from all sides, to the point where I think I'm lucky I only abuse alcohol instead of consider it my life-blood.
Yeah, stress. I should be incapacitated by booze or my own girth, at this point, but since I gained 20 pounds and am pressing buttons on my wardrobe, I trip it up in my mind that I have failed and that I'm one cracker away from a scooter and a nurse cleaning between my folds.
Wow. What a wussy I am, sometimes. Seriously. Instead of focusing on what I've held together, I let the light shine on how I've fallen apart.
As cliche as it is, I'm my own worst enemy. My mind and the tricks I let it play.
_____
Also, I'm feeling the least motivated I have in a long time. I'm also feeling very, largely fat. And sluggish. I'm not sure what to attribute that to. Could be my period. Could just be the resolution that I am going to spiral into a 500 pound mass of skin and fat that never leaves the house unless aided by a scooter.
What happened? What is happening to me? I'm sure people look at me and see a loss of self-control, probably something dirty. I see people looking at my flabby flop of a belly, too, more than I used to now that it is hanging down like dirty laundry. I hate it. I don't like my body. I can't stand it, sometimes, feeling trapped - claustrophobic - in my pounds of fat.
But, coupled with that, I'm also feeling resigned and scared. I think I'm scared to lose weight, lose what I've become and who I am. Talk about being a bipolar mess -
Oh.
Hmm. OK.
Lightbulb moment. Yeah sure, I'm a bipolar mess, but I think I know where my balls went. They cozied up to a dastardly beast called STRESS.
I can pretty much peg my descend into having a belly that droops like baby in a sling, and a weight-gain of 20 pounds - it happened this past year. The most STRESSFUL time I've had in my entire life. Like being attacked from all sides, to the point where I think I'm lucky I only abuse alcohol instead of consider it my life-blood.
Yeah, stress. I should be incapacitated by booze or my own girth, at this point, but since I gained 20 pounds and am pressing buttons on my wardrobe, I trip it up in my mind that I have failed and that I'm one cracker away from a scooter and a nurse cleaning between my folds.
Wow. What a wussy I am, sometimes. Seriously. Instead of focusing on what I've held together, I let the light shine on how I've fallen apart.
As cliche as it is, I'm my own worst enemy. My mind and the tricks I let it play.
Ephesians 6:12I need to armor-up more, and not be defeated so easily.
12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
365 Days of Exercize - Day 2
Ooops!!
I did it again.
And better than Brittany, though, since I didn't lose my dignity.
Went for a walk today, about 20 minutes, moderate walk. Not a "workout" but a heart-health pace.
I didn't really go over my "condition" (I like quotations, don't you? - These are all airquotes, too, for fun.) of this experiment, but bare minimum I need to do 10min. of exercise a day. And I'll only give myself a 10min. workout pass twice a week. That should do me for days where things are crazy busy or I don't feel like it. Unless I'm puking up my toenails, I should be able to manage 10min. of intentional movement.
Shouldn't we all?
By the way, before my walk I was literally (LITERALLY) half-asleep. My brain had already started to fizz out, checking out, really. My body wanted to crawl under some cool covers and say "nigh-nigh" - but I didn't let it, and I made it through Day 2. Raise the roof.
I did it again.
And better than Brittany, though, since I didn't lose my dignity.
Went for a walk today, about 20 minutes, moderate walk. Not a "workout" but a heart-health pace.
I didn't really go over my "condition" (I like quotations, don't you? - These are all airquotes, too, for fun.) of this experiment, but bare minimum I need to do 10min. of exercise a day. And I'll only give myself a 10min. workout pass twice a week. That should do me for days where things are crazy busy or I don't feel like it. Unless I'm puking up my toenails, I should be able to manage 10min. of intentional movement.
Shouldn't we all?
By the way, before my walk I was literally (LITERALLY) half-asleep. My brain had already started to fizz out, checking out, really. My body wanted to crawl under some cool covers and say "nigh-nigh" - but I didn't let it, and I made it through Day 2. Raise the roof.
365 Days of Exercize - Day 1
Yes. This is what I've turned into. Challenging myself to 365 days of exercise. Walking, biking, treadmill, stationary bike - whatever. But managing to do it daily, every day, for one year.
Starting August 1, 2009.
In addition and accompaniment, I will also be reading through the Bible using The Daily Walk Bible(KJV)
.
This isn't just vanity, or health. For me it is a discipline, something, at this point in my life, I feel like I am very much lacking.
So I suppose that means that I'm going to have to check in here every day and post. Which is fine, because I really don't have a huge gathering of folks checking me out anyway. But it will be good to hold myself accountable.
I hope that a conscious effort to move will encourage my body to shed some pounds. But I'm not sure it will. I also hope that my conscious effort to move with make me more accountable, and will be a good reminder to myself to be faithful and have discipline, something I lack. I hope that I learn a bit about myself as I use a small walk, ride, movement of my body to focus on centering myself.
We will see.
Starting August 1, 2009.
In addition and accompaniment, I will also be reading through the Bible using The Daily Walk Bible(KJV)
.This isn't just vanity, or health. For me it is a discipline, something, at this point in my life, I feel like I am very much lacking.
So I suppose that means that I'm going to have to check in here every day and post. Which is fine, because I really don't have a huge gathering of folks checking me out anyway. But it will be good to hold myself accountable.
I hope that a conscious effort to move will encourage my body to shed some pounds. But I'm not sure it will. I also hope that my conscious effort to move with make me more accountable, and will be a good reminder to myself to be faithful and have discipline, something I lack. I hope that I learn a bit about myself as I use a small walk, ride, movement of my body to focus on centering myself.
We will see.
Week 3
Weight: 293
Change: -2 pounds
Why'd that happen? I'm not exactly sure. I do think that my complete lack of control is toned down a bit. When I was eating well I was able to maintain. As I continued to throw all caution to the wind, I gained. And now as I reel myself back in, I'm losing a bit. This is good.
I'd love to see below 290 by the month's end. I definitely believe it is within my control to do so.
I feel like I had a decent week this past week, but didn't really challenge myself too terribly much.
I am...
paying attention to my water intake
being conscious of what I'm feeding myself
trying to move a bit more throughout the day
weighing myself consistently
I am not...
living up to my 3x a week exercise goal
journaling my food intake
Change: -2 pounds
Why'd that happen? I'm not exactly sure. I do think that my complete lack of control is toned down a bit. When I was eating well I was able to maintain. As I continued to throw all caution to the wind, I gained. And now as I reel myself back in, I'm losing a bit. This is good.
I'd love to see below 290 by the month's end. I definitely believe it is within my control to do so.
I feel like I had a decent week this past week, but didn't really challenge myself too terribly much.
I am...
paying attention to my water intake
being conscious of what I'm feeding myself
trying to move a bit more throughout the day
weighing myself consistently
I am not...
living up to my 3x a week exercise goal
journaling my food intake
Week 2 - 295
OK. So I made it to 295. Not sure how or why, but I did.
My walking? Eh. Maybe hit 3 days last week.
My Eating? It was... It was OK. I was more conscious of what I ate. I ate less, for sure.
I attribute my nice 4-pounds down to being my time of month, weighing more in the beginning of the week and settling back to a "normal" at this weigh-in. And maybe some more conscious eating. We'll see what happens for next week under those same guides. Frankly, I'm surprised, since I felt like a ravenous garbage disposal for most of the week. At one point I had such an intense desire to chew, I was close to removing my flip-flop and chomping on the plastic. It was just crazy intense. That's how I knew, though, that I was about to get my period. Either I fly off the handle mental-patient style OR I fight weird cravings to chew on non-edible objects.
My walking? Eh. Maybe hit 3 days last week.
My Eating? It was... It was OK. I was more conscious of what I ate. I ate less, for sure.
I attribute my nice 4-pounds down to being my time of month, weighing more in the beginning of the week and settling back to a "normal" at this weigh-in. And maybe some more conscious eating. We'll see what happens for next week under those same guides. Frankly, I'm surprised, since I felt like a ravenous garbage disposal for most of the week. At one point I had such an intense desire to chew, I was close to removing my flip-flop and chomping on the plastic. It was just crazy intense. That's how I knew, though, that I was about to get my period. Either I fly off the handle mental-patient style OR I fight weird cravings to chew on non-edible objects.
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