Week 3

Weight: 293
Change: -2 pounds

Why'd that happen? I'm not exactly sure. I do think that my complete lack of control is toned down a bit. When I was eating well I was able to maintain. As I continued to throw all caution to the wind, I gained. And now as I reel myself back in, I'm losing a bit. This is good.

I'd love to see below 290 by the month's end. I definitely believe it is within my control to do so.

I feel like I had a decent week this past week, but didn't really challenge myself too terribly much.

I am...
paying attention to my water intake
being conscious of what I'm feeding myself
trying to move a bit more throughout the day
weighing myself consistently

I am not...
living up to my 3x a week exercise goal
journaling my food intake

Week 2 - 295

OK. So I made it to 295. Not sure how or why, but I did.

My walking? Eh. Maybe hit 3 days last week.
My Eating? It was... It was OK. I was more conscious of what I ate. I ate less, for sure.

I attribute my nice 4-pounds down to being my time of month, weighing more in the beginning of the week and settling back to a "normal" at this weigh-in. And maybe some more conscious eating. We'll see what happens for next week under those same guides. Frankly, I'm surprised, since I felt like a ravenous garbage disposal for most of the week. At one point I had such an intense desire to chew, I was close to removing my flip-flop and chomping on the plastic. It was just crazy intense. That's how I knew, though, that I was about to get my period. Either I fly off the handle mental-patient style OR I fight weird cravings to chew on non-edible objects.

I Didn't Win, But I Didn't Lose

Today was not the greatest day, but it certainly was not the worst day so I neither won nor lost.

I did not go for a walk, but that's OK. As long as I never go more than one day in between days where I exercise, I'm alright. I was conscious of my portions (for dinner I ate 1 plate and had a tiny bit more). I had a very small ice cream cone. I was never deprived or STUFFED today.

NOT being stuffed is one of my goals. Satisfied is good. Stuffed is gluttony and not necessary.

Day 1... later

I'm doing OK. Yesterday I walked. Today I was pretty lazy, but then around 5pm I said, "Girl. You gotta go walk. You promised." I was going to go outside to walk, but then instead grabbed a Walk Away the Pounds video. I thought I grabbed the 1-mile one, but mistakenly did the 2-mile. I could feel myself resisting and complaining within 2 minutes of starting the workout.

But I pressured on. I put my hands on my overgrown, falling down over my thighs tummy and pushed on. Those videos are more intensified than a regular walk. And I can do them barefoot. So there's really no excuse for me not exercising.

My eating hasn't been great, but it hasn't been horrible. Instead of candy or some other delectable sweet I opted for a Kashi bar (after some grueling shopping I was in dire need of nourishment). I had an orange for a snack. I'll have dinner tonight. But most importantly -- I worked out. I got up and made a point of moving my body beyond what I normally would.

Today was a good day. Thumbs up.

Starting Over

Ooopsie-poopsie.
I deleted everything.

Well, not really. I removed my old posts and tucked them away. Because I need to start over without looking back so much. A quick glance over the shoulder is fine, but I need to move forward, now.

I want you to know that I'm losing weight. And a lot of it. I fear saggy skin, but that's a silly fear, since I sag already. The funbags, the tummy... Better to be saggy and 199 pounds than saggy and 299.

My plan? Sheer determination, smaller portions and more movement. I'm ready.

All-time high: 338.
Current starting weight: 299
Goal weight: 198 (Under 200 is my first MAJOR goal -- after that, we can negotiate)

I'm 35 right now. I don't want to be 300 pounds at 40 years old. I wanted to be under 200 by now, since technically I started this journal back in 2006. I didn't make it. Life's stress got in the way. And really, I got in the way. So I'm starting over and giving myself another 2 years to lose 101 pounds.

If I lost about 1.6 pounds per week I could make goal by the time I'm 37. That would be nice.

I don't have much more in me to post about right now. I've got the main diggs in order. Watch out world.