Only by the grace of God. Yesterday I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown from heatstroke and PMS. I got my period. I had a stressful day at work, stress with family.
I wanted to hunt, kill and eat. Drink. Cry.
I went over my calorie intake, but darnit I JOURNALED EVERY BITE, EVERY CALORIE.
This morning I woke up and went on a bike ride. In the horrific heat, or shall I say despite the horrific heat. I biked, I sweat, I made it.
Praise God.
(Each
represents 1 pound gone)
338|
| 286
53 gone, 87 more to go to 198
A-Z Meme
Stealing a fun little meme from The Tortise...
A: is for Apple, what's your favorite variety?
Oh goodness... probably Pink Lady.
B: is for Bread, regardless of nutrition, calories, or whole grains what is your favorite type to have a nice big piece of?
It depends on what I'm eating it with. If it is peanut butter and honey - a nice grainy whole wheat bread, brie... a crusty Italian, soup - sourdough... I love bread.
C: is for Cereal what is your favorite kind currently (just one!)
Oh no. This is a list of favorites and those are always hard for me, so dependent on my mood. Um... oatmeal. Very versatile.
D: is for Doughnuts, you might not currently be eating them but what kind do you fancy?
Fritters!
E: is for Eggs, how would you like yours prepared?
Generally fried, but I like scrambled and omelettes, too.
F: is for Fat Free, what is your favorite fat free product?
Probably nothing. Twizzlers? :p
G: is for Groceries, where do you purchase yours at?
It depends on where the deals are at. Local grocers, Wal-mart, Costco.
H: is for Hot Beverages, what is your favorite hot drink?
Coffee. Black.
I: is for Ice Cream, pick a favorite flavor and add a fun topping.
Hmm. Another difficult one. Depends on my mood. But I like Butter Brickle. Hard to find, though.
J: is for Jams or Jellies, do you eat them, and if so what kind and flavor?
Not usually. If I do, a mixed berry or strawberry.
K: is for Kashi, name your favorite Kashi product?
Probably none. They usually have soy and proteins that I don't care for. I buy the bars sometimes.
L: is for Lunch, what was yours today?
That is yet to be determined.
M: is for microwave, what is your favorite microwave meal/snack?
Not a big fan of microwaves. If I had to choose I'd say popcorn.
N: is for nutrients, do you like carbs, fats, or proteins best?
All of the above? Carbs with some fat and salt.
O: is for oil, what kind do you like to use?
EVOO. Love me some olive oil.
P: is for protein, how do you get yours?
Usually eggs, meat.
Q: is for Quaker, how do you like your oats?
With walnuts and a smidge of sweetness.
R: is for roasting, what is your favorite thing to roast?
Corn! Not for me to do it, but for me to eat it. Yum.
S: is for sandwich, what’s your favorite kind?
Right now I'd have to say tuna. But my flavor tastes do change.
T: is for travel, how do you handle eating while traveling?
If I'm being good I continue to track food, take stairs as much as possible and get out for walks. If I'm not being good I enjoy the heck out of the local cuisine.
U: is for unique, what is one of your weirdest food combos?
Hmm... I can't think of anything too strange right now, but I'm sure I have some that others would find weird. I do like to dip fries in mayonnaise or ranch dressing.
V: is for vitamins, what kind do you take?
None, usually. Occasional B and Multi or D.
W: is for wasabi, yay or nay?
Only with sushi.
X: is for X-RAY. If we x-rayed your belly right now, what food would we see?
Water, orange, eggs, toast.
Y: is for youth, what food reminds you of your childhood?
Too many. My life in food has been quite a journey.
Z: is for zucchini, how do you prepare it?
Usually just sauteed or roasted, sometimes in bread.
A: is for Apple, what's your favorite variety?
Oh goodness... probably Pink Lady.
B: is for Bread, regardless of nutrition, calories, or whole grains what is your favorite type to have a nice big piece of?
It depends on what I'm eating it with. If it is peanut butter and honey - a nice grainy whole wheat bread, brie... a crusty Italian, soup - sourdough... I love bread.
C: is for Cereal what is your favorite kind currently (just one!)
Oh no. This is a list of favorites and those are always hard for me, so dependent on my mood. Um... oatmeal. Very versatile.
D: is for Doughnuts, you might not currently be eating them but what kind do you fancy?
Fritters!
E: is for Eggs, how would you like yours prepared?
Generally fried, but I like scrambled and omelettes, too.
F: is for Fat Free, what is your favorite fat free product?
Probably nothing. Twizzlers? :p
G: is for Groceries, where do you purchase yours at?
It depends on where the deals are at. Local grocers, Wal-mart, Costco.
H: is for Hot Beverages, what is your favorite hot drink?
Coffee. Black.
I: is for Ice Cream, pick a favorite flavor and add a fun topping.
Hmm. Another difficult one. Depends on my mood. But I like Butter Brickle. Hard to find, though.
J: is for Jams or Jellies, do you eat them, and if so what kind and flavor?
Not usually. If I do, a mixed berry or strawberry.
K: is for Kashi, name your favorite Kashi product?
Probably none. They usually have soy and proteins that I don't care for. I buy the bars sometimes.
L: is for Lunch, what was yours today?
That is yet to be determined.
M: is for microwave, what is your favorite microwave meal/snack?
Not a big fan of microwaves. If I had to choose I'd say popcorn.
N: is for nutrients, do you like carbs, fats, or proteins best?
All of the above? Carbs with some fat and salt.
O: is for oil, what kind do you like to use?
EVOO. Love me some olive oil.
P: is for protein, how do you get yours?
Usually eggs, meat.
Q: is for Quaker, how do you like your oats?
With walnuts and a smidge of sweetness.
R: is for roasting, what is your favorite thing to roast?
Corn! Not for me to do it, but for me to eat it. Yum.
S: is for sandwich, what’s your favorite kind?
Right now I'd have to say tuna. But my flavor tastes do change.
T: is for travel, how do you handle eating while traveling?
If I'm being good I continue to track food, take stairs as much as possible and get out for walks. If I'm not being good I enjoy the heck out of the local cuisine.
U: is for unique, what is one of your weirdest food combos?
Hmm... I can't think of anything too strange right now, but I'm sure I have some that others would find weird. I do like to dip fries in mayonnaise or ranch dressing.
V: is for vitamins, what kind do you take?
None, usually. Occasional B and Multi or D.
W: is for wasabi, yay or nay?
Only with sushi.
X: is for X-RAY. If we x-rayed your belly right now, what food would we see?
Water, orange, eggs, toast.
Y: is for youth, what food reminds you of your childhood?
Too many. My life in food has been quite a journey.
Z: is for zucchini, how do you prepare it?
Usually just sauteed or roasted, sometimes in bread.
275... Again
Dangabbit. Back up at 275. Well, my "regular scale" says 280, but it is 5pds off from what my Wii scale says, so I'll go with the 275 (2pds for clothes, 3 for adjustment). I feel 280, so it really doesn't matter.
I've been tracking food, and am shooting for doing it faithfully for the next 5 days. It is a busy week with kids getting out of school and everything, but I think I can do it. Prioritize. How was it so easy when I was doing it a year or so ago? Why can I not get that mojo back?
I'm a'working on it.
Today I went out in the heat and took the doggie for a walk. He could only do about 20 minutes, but that was better than nothing, and we hit a hill on the way, too. I came home and did some sit-ups and plan to be consciously active throughout the day.
Hope you have a great day!!!
I've been tracking food, and am shooting for doing it faithfully for the next 5 days. It is a busy week with kids getting out of school and everything, but I think I can do it. Prioritize. How was it so easy when I was doing it a year or so ago? Why can I not get that mojo back?
I'm a'working on it.
Today I went out in the heat and took the doggie for a walk. He could only do about 20 minutes, but that was better than nothing, and we hit a hill on the way, too. I came home and did some sit-ups and plan to be consciously active throughout the day.
Hope you have a great day!!!
My Addiction To Food
My addiction to food both disgusts and amazes me.
I love food in good and healthy ways. But (sometimes) I use it in ways food is not intended to be used. Don't go all mind-in-the-gutter on me. I mean that there are times when I can prepare my oatmeal and walnuts, pack a shake for lunch and a piece of fruit and use food to nourish my body. This is fine, good, and controllable. But when I come home, whip up some waffles, reheat some pork chops and gorge, it doesn't feel good.
It doesn't even feel right.
Strangely, I cut out all the fat on the chops, and was reasonable with the waffles, but it was a big production of food-making, planning, anticipating... and then a frenzy. I ate fast and hard, like I've seen my kid do (and don't like because it is a reflection of me). I enjoyed the sweet, salty, chewy, buttery flavors mixed together and washed down with ice-cold milk. I knew I wouldn't journal my food because it was already a failure.
I caught myself gobbling.
It's disgusting.
I finished off with one more small waffle, lathered with peanut butter. I totally didn't need it, and could have powered through, not eating it. But I did. I wanted it.
I tell myself I'm fine, but I'm not sure if I am. Either by habit or by emotions that I've blocked, I managed to cancel out my thoughtful eating this morning with a few minutes of feasting. I feel full. Heavy with food and drink. Satiated. Disappointed in myself. Wanting to shed the pounds I've gained (about 7). Wanting to get past the goal I made months ago.
I'm not letting myself do it. Why?
I love food in good and healthy ways. But (sometimes) I use it in ways food is not intended to be used. Don't go all mind-in-the-gutter on me. I mean that there are times when I can prepare my oatmeal and walnuts, pack a shake for lunch and a piece of fruit and use food to nourish my body. This is fine, good, and controllable. But when I come home, whip up some waffles, reheat some pork chops and gorge, it doesn't feel good.
It doesn't even feel right.
Strangely, I cut out all the fat on the chops, and was reasonable with the waffles, but it was a big production of food-making, planning, anticipating... and then a frenzy. I ate fast and hard, like I've seen my kid do (and don't like because it is a reflection of me). I enjoyed the sweet, salty, chewy, buttery flavors mixed together and washed down with ice-cold milk. I knew I wouldn't journal my food because it was already a failure.
I caught myself gobbling.
It's disgusting.
I finished off with one more small waffle, lathered with peanut butter. I totally didn't need it, and could have powered through, not eating it. But I did. I wanted it.
I tell myself I'm fine, but I'm not sure if I am. Either by habit or by emotions that I've blocked, I managed to cancel out my thoughtful eating this morning with a few minutes of feasting. I feel full. Heavy with food and drink. Satiated. Disappointed in myself. Wanting to shed the pounds I've gained (about 7). Wanting to get past the goal I made months ago.
I'm not letting myself do it. Why?
Well Hello
Last time I checked in I was 272 pounds. Prior to that, I was 277. The holidays I let my hair down a bit, indulged in cookies and the like, and paid the price.
Three months later, I'm back to my lowest weight. Again.
And I'm ready to rock and roll.
It's hard not to look at time past and kick myself for not staying on track. I could have been under 250 right now, had I stayed the course. Assumably. But, then also, I could have been topping 300 again. Either way, I could have gone.
One year ago I was 293 pounds. I'm almost down 30 from that one year later. If I can be down 30 from here a year from now and hold it - that is a victory.
What delights me is that my body came back down to where it was before. The maintaining of that weight for a while seemed to make it my new "normal" for weight. I didn't so much concentrate on what I was doing to lose weight, but I snipped out the bad practices of the holidays, and the weight came off. I guess.
I'm back to tracking on Spark. Right now my calorie range is to eat between 1630 and 1980 calories per day. Honestly, that seems a little low to me. But, since I've gone down, so has my calorie allowance. I've always tried to eat on the high end of the calorie range. As long as I lose weight, that's fine. The more I can have, the happier I am. Heh.
I've done pretty well the past few days with eating. Not so great with exercising, though. Have to get back into that. One step at a time, though.
First goal: 257. I'd like to get there by the end of May.
Three months later, I'm back to my lowest weight. Again.
And I'm ready to rock and roll.
It's hard not to look at time past and kick myself for not staying on track. I could have been under 250 right now, had I stayed the course. Assumably. But, then also, I could have been topping 300 again. Either way, I could have gone.
One year ago I was 293 pounds. I'm almost down 30 from that one year later. If I can be down 30 from here a year from now and hold it - that is a victory.
What delights me is that my body came back down to where it was before. The maintaining of that weight for a while seemed to make it my new "normal" for weight. I didn't so much concentrate on what I was doing to lose weight, but I snipped out the bad practices of the holidays, and the weight came off. I guess.
I'm back to tracking on Spark. Right now my calorie range is to eat between 1630 and 1980 calories per day. Honestly, that seems a little low to me. But, since I've gone down, so has my calorie allowance. I've always tried to eat on the high end of the calorie range. As long as I lose weight, that's fine. The more I can have, the happier I am. Heh.
I've done pretty well the past few days with eating. Not so great with exercising, though. Have to get back into that. One step at a time, though.
First goal: 257. I'd like to get there by the end of May.
One Day At A Time
I feel a bit better because I stepped on the scale for weigh-in and it said 272. Whew. Sigh of relief, but in no way am I out of any danger zone yet.
I need to figure a way to keep exercise and eating healthy a priority, even with a busy schedule. My hours at my job have increased, leaving me less "me" time, which actually isn't good. But it IS good financially (another area of struggle). I need to learn to accommodate, adjust and be more flexible instead of always thinking on how I can change things. That would be more productive.
I managed a walk yesterday, but I don't think I managed to stay within my calorie range. Today I plan to journal everything (something that inevitably helps), and stay below my range.
Wish me luck. And good luck to you!!!
I need to figure a way to keep exercise and eating healthy a priority, even with a busy schedule. My hours at my job have increased, leaving me less "me" time, which actually isn't good. But it IS good financially (another area of struggle). I need to learn to accommodate, adjust and be more flexible instead of always thinking on how I can change things. That would be more productive.
I managed a walk yesterday, but I don't think I managed to stay within my calorie range. Today I plan to journal everything (something that inevitably helps), and stay below my range.
Wish me luck. And good luck to you!!!
10 Pounds
I gained 10 pounds. First it was 6, which didn't seem like a huge deal. But, yesterday (or the day before), I got on the scale and there it was: 277.
That's 10 pounds from my lowest weight of 267 (or 11 from 266, but I just don't want to go there).
I knew I was in for it after the holidays, and I'm trying not to get too upset about it. Just hopping back on the wagon of counting my calories again. My motivation isn't huge, but it isn't completely vanished like it was for a while there while I was maintaining.
I have grown comfortable with being able to fit in new kinds of clothes. I've grown accustomed to shopping for a certain size. I don't see myself (well, kind of sort of) as the "oversized" person I used to be. I can by off the rack now.
I need to keep chugging forward. And that's what I'll do. Wish me luck - and best wishes to you in 2011. Let's make this a year of better health.
That's 10 pounds from my lowest weight of 267 (or 11 from 266, but I just don't want to go there).
I knew I was in for it after the holidays, and I'm trying not to get too upset about it. Just hopping back on the wagon of counting my calories again. My motivation isn't huge, but it isn't completely vanished like it was for a while there while I was maintaining.
I have grown comfortable with being able to fit in new kinds of clothes. I've grown accustomed to shopping for a certain size. I don't see myself (well, kind of sort of) as the "oversized" person I used to be. I can by off the rack now.
I need to keep chugging forward. And that's what I'll do. Wish me luck - and best wishes to you in 2011. Let's make this a year of better health.
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