Weigh In: 287 (Week 3 and n/c)

It always frustrates me when someone is waiting for me when I come into work.  I usually try to get to work a half hour early just to get settled, get my tea -- just get ready for the day.  And sometimes there's a person just standing there.   Waiting.

What I want to do is point to the sign indicating the office's hours, walk past, and shut the door.  I'm not getting paid during that time.  That's MY time.  I need it.  I come early to have it.  The worst is my boss shares an office with me, and sometimes I get things thrown at me the second I walk in the door.  "When I get settled." I try to say - hint, hint.  It works some of the time.

I just know I need that time.  I know it about myself.  But I can't make the world understand this.  Anyway.  This was on my mind this morning.

MY WEIGH IN SUCKS!!!!!

Son of a biscuit, I can't believe it.  Literally on week 3 of tracking my food and that scale isn't budging at all.  It's really hard not to just give in and be this:

I knew it was coming because I weigh myself almost daily.  It's seriously nuts.  I KNOW I've been eating less than normal.  I know it.  I've been consciously moving more and eating less, and it's been going on three weeks and nothing has changed.  I just need to document that.  'Cause I actually go back and read this stuff sometimes.

I have no idea why the scale hasn't changed.

My eating has been lower carb.  This past week it's been under 100 carbs.  I literally can't drop my calories any more than I have.  To maintain my weight it tells me I need to eat under 2700 calories (I'm a big girl).  I don't think I've eaten 2700 calories in 3 weeks (maybe one day I did?).  I surely haven't this pas week, and I've been moving a lot more.

And nada.

Not to mention I'm starving.  That's frustrating, but I'm literally starving many of the days.

Here's the interesting part - I feel better.  Maybe it's cutting out the sugars, breads, wheats?  Maybe it's other things?  But I feel better, my attitude has been better.  I have no idea what it is, but I like that.

But, I really need to lose weight.  I really need to have my clothes feel better.  I've been focusing so much on this tracking/eating thing, it's SO frustrating to have the needle stay the same.  I could be not focusing on it, eating what I want, and have the needle stay the same.  I mean, that's what I've been doing for the last how long?!

I'm not giving up, but I can't lie and say that it's not disheartening.  How can I plateau right now?

I'm Still Alive... And Now I'm Off Metformin (263.8)

This is going to be quick. Grammer and spelling might be rough.

First off, I weigh 263. I haven't posted a weigh in for a bit, but it hasn't really been doing much (besides fluctuating wildly). This is the 3rd time I've weighed 263. I'm hoping that I'm breaking that barrier.

I'm off Metformin. I was way too woozy.

The things I found out while being on Metformin and testing my blood sugars:

I'm not diabetic (according to doctor).
I'm not dangerously hypoglycemic (though my readings tend to be low rather than high).

After being on the drug for 10 days, and not being able to tolerate it for the last 3 of those days, I went to the doctor to clarify exactly what we were doing with being on the Metformin. I explained how crappy I've felt, how out of energy I've felt, how I feel hypoglycemic ALL THE TIME (even though I guess I technically am not). I wanted to fal in a ball on ground and sob, but clinic floors are filthy.

What she said was - um, BG, you've lost a significant amount of weight. I see you were in the clinic back in September and you were 295 pounds. You weighed in today (6 months later) at 265 pounds. It might not seem like a lot, but your body has gone through some changes. It is resetting itself. You have new normals for glucose readings, hormones -- your body needs to stabilize.

She said she thinks Metformin is right for me, but told me to wait a month. Make sure I'm a bit more stable, make sure that I can differentiate between my hormones and the drug before going on it again (I'm not sure I could before). She said my readings were all very good while on the drug and I didn't need to worry about that. But for the metabolic syndrome and PCOS that I was dealing with, the drug could prove to be helpful for me.

I'm hopeful but hesitant on the Metformin, but what she was saying makes sense, about the body regulation to the "new me" for my weight. Considering I've been here 3 times and failed twice, I think I get to a certain point and my body is like, Whoa now, this doesn't feel right?! Let's get you back to where you need to be to feel normal.

My "normal" has settled at 338, 298, and, well, about 267. Those seem to be my landmarks. 262 is a number that I faintly remember as being a "normal" for a while.

So I have to fight through it to get to another normal, I guess. It's been frustrating and difficult, to say the least, though.

A change I've made recently is to cut out a lot of the carbs I was eating. I feel like I need to do something to get through here, and carbs have often NOT been my friend. I didn't eat a drastically lowered carb diet to get where I am now, that was mostly calories. But, I've been doing good on my calories and am still finding difficulty getting past this point. It looks like I might be breaking through, but I'm not convinced until I see a 25-something number.

Weigh In (ARGH)

267

It's not funny, but it kind of is.

I mean, last week I'm writing about my MILESTONE, and then I'm two pounds heavier the next week. I have to admit, I was pretty discouraged when I stepped on the scale on Monday and saw that number. I told myself I had until Wednesday.

I went over the past week and ran reports to try and see where I might have failed.
NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE.

Literally, none of it.

I compared three months (September - December) of last year when I was dropping pounds, and then these past few months, and the only slight differences I can see are:

1.) Less activity (I didn't work out as much/at all)
2.) Possibly less carb intake

The rest looks pretty much the same, even the calories. The main difference was that I wasn't expending as much caloric energy, and I wasn't eating as many carbs.

September - December: Lost 14 pounds
January - March: Lost 7

Interesting.

I truly do NOT understand my body at all. It frustrates me. I consistently do worse when I intentionally exercise more it seems. OR, when I work out more, I eat more carbs, and it is counter-productive.

Either way, I'm going to try to NOT get all bound up in the concerns that the scale presents. I can't let that deter me. Mentally, I could, but I'm going to beat that down mentally. Here are my thoughts:

EDITED 

So I went on a speil about carbs and how I was going to drop lower on them because it seemed to help. Well, I've spent the last HOUR OF MY LIFE going over graphs and honestly so I've updated/erased that and need to let things sit - I can't find anything. No correlation to anything. I just dropped weight. My graphs don't show anything significant, from what I can see. Not in the fat, carbs, or calories.

I find myself very frustrated. Basically I lose weight, get to a certain point, and BOOM.

We'll see what the next week brings.