Out of a whim, I got on the scale this morning: 285
Interesting. I'd love to change my official weigh-in to that number, but I'm going to wait and hope and pray it sticks (or drops even more) by next Wednesday. Motivation.
It was an exciting number to see, but I'll be nervous a bit until it's official.
Strangely, my husband asked me if I'd lost weight. It makes no sense because weight loss doesn't show up on a fat person that quickly. I think he might have been trying to make me feel good. I don't really care either way - I know my pants feel a little better. Maybe it's wheat bloat. What will be good is if I can keep that number or drop by next week because, right now, I don't feel like how I've been eating is unmanageable in the long run. My bigger fear is that it's not enough and I'd have to drop even more, which I'm not sure would be manageable.
So I'm going to work on continuing a similar course of action and see what the next week brings me. I've also been going through my food journals from a few years back to see what my patterns were.
(Each
represents 1 pound gone)
338|
| 286
53 gone, 87 more to go to 198
Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts
Motivation... Why Hello, There You Are
I thought I'd lost my motivation.
I don't know why. Brain playing tricks on me.
I had a very busy couple of weeks, and here we are in the space between Thanksgiving and Christmas. What I was expecting, I don't know.
A few days I've been too busy to track my food, and that's a tool that has proven useful for me. It is useful because it is a strong indicator of what I've taking into my body, and it holds me accountable. I'm realizing that the daily tracking carries over to help me on my days where I am unable to.
The more I track, the more I educate myself and reinforce the boundaries of what exactly my body needs to function, to lose, and what is too much.
What gets hard for me is when I lose that "crutch" and have to kind of wander the wilderness without it. It frustrates me a bit, and plays with my head.
The days I'm so busy that my tracking can't be done - or isn't perfection - leave me feeling like it was a fail day. If I'm on vacation and can't get to a place where they have internet so I can track my foods - I have my own mini breakdown (on the inside). I am out of sorts without my SparkPeople. Why oh why can't there be an app that can run without internet?
So far I haven't completely blown it. But I teeter just a bit. I can feel it. I don't like that I'm so married to an app. I really don't. But... some people are married to the gym and if they don't hit that (bike/weights/treadmill) they feel incomplete. It isn't just that feeling of being incomplete for me, it is more the concern that that feeling will lead me into a pitfall.
It is the one sip for the alcoholic.
The one flirt for the incurable cheater.
The sneaked cigarette for the smoker.
Right now (and maybe forever or a very long time), I need to be accountable. I know my weaknesses, and I know that tracking my food has been IMPLEMENTAL in my weight loss. I'm not saying I like it, enjoy it, or hope to do it foreverandever. I like to dream that someday I will just know my limits. That might just be dreaming.
I also know that my strict black-and-white policies that I set for myself don't allow for a lot of wiggle room, and are also probably not the healthiest approach at all times. One bad day doesn't have to be a set up for a bad weekend or week. I am learning that. Or I am able to cope a bit better at that. I am able to cope a bit better with not losing one week. Mainly that is because right now I'm so freaking happy with the fact that I'm in a better place than I was.
Today I weighed myself and I had to repeat it because I was at 274. I often weigh back in on Wednesday and sometimes Friday. At any rate, I hope that sticks. I'd love to hit 269 in the next month. It won't be easy with all the eating and gatherings to go to, but we shall see. Again, this is why I'm semi-happy with just maintaining. Most people (including myself) expect to gain over the holidays.
I don't know why. Brain playing tricks on me.
I had a very busy couple of weeks, and here we are in the space between Thanksgiving and Christmas. What I was expecting, I don't know.
A few days I've been too busy to track my food, and that's a tool that has proven useful for me. It is useful because it is a strong indicator of what I've taking into my body, and it holds me accountable. I'm realizing that the daily tracking carries over to help me on my days where I am unable to.
The more I track, the more I educate myself and reinforce the boundaries of what exactly my body needs to function, to lose, and what is too much.
What gets hard for me is when I lose that "crutch" and have to kind of wander the wilderness without it. It frustrates me a bit, and plays with my head.
The days I'm so busy that my tracking can't be done - or isn't perfection - leave me feeling like it was a fail day. If I'm on vacation and can't get to a place where they have internet so I can track my foods - I have my own mini breakdown (on the inside). I am out of sorts without my SparkPeople. Why oh why can't there be an app that can run without internet?
So far I haven't completely blown it. But I teeter just a bit. I can feel it. I don't like that I'm so married to an app. I really don't. But... some people are married to the gym and if they don't hit that (bike/weights/treadmill) they feel incomplete. It isn't just that feeling of being incomplete for me, it is more the concern that that feeling will lead me into a pitfall.
It is the one sip for the alcoholic.
The one flirt for the incurable cheater.
The sneaked cigarette for the smoker.
Right now (and maybe forever or a very long time), I need to be accountable. I know my weaknesses, and I know that tracking my food has been IMPLEMENTAL in my weight loss. I'm not saying I like it, enjoy it, or hope to do it foreverandever. I like to dream that someday I will just know my limits. That might just be dreaming.
I also know that my strict black-and-white policies that I set for myself don't allow for a lot of wiggle room, and are also probably not the healthiest approach at all times. One bad day doesn't have to be a set up for a bad weekend or week. I am learning that. Or I am able to cope a bit better at that. I am able to cope a bit better with not losing one week. Mainly that is because right now I'm so freaking happy with the fact that I'm in a better place than I was.
Today I weighed myself and I had to repeat it because I was at 274. I often weigh back in on Wednesday and sometimes Friday. At any rate, I hope that sticks. I'd love to hit 269 in the next month. It won't be easy with all the eating and gatherings to go to, but we shall see. Again, this is why I'm semi-happy with just maintaining. Most people (including myself) expect to gain over the holidays.
287 - Discipline And Balance
I made it through 1 week of tracking my calories. Tracking them and staying within my range. Yesterday I went over by 20 I think, but in the scheme of things, that was OK, because I was under a couple days ago, too.
I truly wish I knew what it was that allows me to accomplish a week of sensible eating. Take a life-long snapshot of anyone who struggles with weight loss and see them jumping on and off the wagon. It's a true battle.
Right now my motivation is really how I feel. I don't like how my clothes fit. A year ago this time I felt so much better in my own body, and in my clothes. I was happily buying a smaller shirt size, and close to needing a smaller pant size. It frustrates me to have to be back-tracking, but it also frustrates me to have let myself slip.
I freaking love food. This week has been a victory food-wise, but I haven't been enjoying what I eat so much. Strangely, though, I also haven't really cared. My focus hasn't been on what I eat. It's almost like I have to not care to succeed. Last night I was going to indulge and splurge on some ice-cream. But I didn't. I stayed the course, came home and had one of my low fat ice creams. Probably wasn't as good, but I also didn't have regrets.
I'm hoping to continue this streak of better eating. I do know that we are set to have a dinner and drinks out this weekend, and I will probably go over. My goal is to do well this week and kick up the exercise so that I can relax a bit (still making sensible choices when we dine out) but not get too frustrated either way (frustrated because I'm not enjoying my food, or frustrated that my emphasis is too much on the food).
Balance.
I think I only walked twice this week. Right now our finances won't allow for a gym membership, but I really need to have something that burns more calories than walking. Something I can hop on quick during the day (treadmill or indoor bike). But we also need a major appliance and money is tight.
If only weight-loss was my only issue. Again, it is balancing everything. My eating, my exercising, my finances, on and on. Discipline. Balance. That's what will help me make progress everywhere in life. That, apparently, is what I need to learn.
I truly wish I knew what it was that allows me to accomplish a week of sensible eating. Take a life-long snapshot of anyone who struggles with weight loss and see them jumping on and off the wagon. It's a true battle.
Right now my motivation is really how I feel. I don't like how my clothes fit. A year ago this time I felt so much better in my own body, and in my clothes. I was happily buying a smaller shirt size, and close to needing a smaller pant size. It frustrates me to have to be back-tracking, but it also frustrates me to have let myself slip.
I freaking love food. This week has been a victory food-wise, but I haven't been enjoying what I eat so much. Strangely, though, I also haven't really cared. My focus hasn't been on what I eat. It's almost like I have to not care to succeed. Last night I was going to indulge and splurge on some ice-cream. But I didn't. I stayed the course, came home and had one of my low fat ice creams. Probably wasn't as good, but I also didn't have regrets.
I'm hoping to continue this streak of better eating. I do know that we are set to have a dinner and drinks out this weekend, and I will probably go over. My goal is to do well this week and kick up the exercise so that I can relax a bit (still making sensible choices when we dine out) but not get too frustrated either way (frustrated because I'm not enjoying my food, or frustrated that my emphasis is too much on the food).
Balance.
I think I only walked twice this week. Right now our finances won't allow for a gym membership, but I really need to have something that burns more calories than walking. Something I can hop on quick during the day (treadmill or indoor bike). But we also need a major appliance and money is tight.
If only weight-loss was my only issue. Again, it is balancing everything. My eating, my exercising, my finances, on and on. Discipline. Balance. That's what will help me make progress everywhere in life. That, apparently, is what I need to learn.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)