This is the first +pounds in a while.
Bummer.
I could probably put 254 down, but I refuse to. But I did weigh that the other day. I think some of it has to do with a TMI issue that I have off and on. But since we're friends, and since I don't care since all of this weight loss in itself is pretty much TMI... I have IBS-C (Irritable Bowel Syndrome-Constipation), and it's not been a good time lately. Figure the rest out on your own.
It sucks and is frustrating when it comes to weighing myself sometimes.
But I'm not blaming it all on that, either. It's not been a good month, period. I've been neglectful of eating within my calorie ranges. Consistently. I'm doing it to myself.
Yesterday was 4th of July and I (again) drank too much. Tomorrow we have a celebration to go to, and I'm guessing I'll overeat again. Maybe. We'll see. My indulgence is showing up on the scale, and I don't like it. So maybe I'll be able to be reasonable. I hope so. Even if not - the least I could do is stay within range on the days where there isn't something going on.
(Each
represents 1 pound gone)
338|
| 286
53 gone, 87 more to go to 198
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
256
I've stepped on the scale before and it said 256, but not on a weigh-in day.
I've lost EIGHTY POUNDS. One of my kids weighs 88 pounds. I've finally lost some of my baby weight - har har, har, har, har.
I didn't expect it today. OK, I kinda did. But we were away for the weekend with friends, and that's always a gamble.
Although, in retrospect, I didn't go on a bender, or do anything I shouldn't have. I stuck to the plan.
I drank almost an entire bottle of wine. That would have been a downfall.
And... a martini.
We ate out.
We were busy.
I didn't track my calories.
But other than all that, I planned well, ate well.
There were plenty of goodies I could have eaten, but I skipped them. I had strawberries, egg muffins, cheese muffins, pistachios, my tea... it worked out. And strangely, I didn't care about the food so much. Being able to open my suitcase and grab clothes that felt good on my body was way over the top hands down a better feeling than stuffing a sweet, gooey cupcake in my mouth.
The way I felt in my clothes lasted all day and into the night, and a cupcake doesn't last that long. An orgasm doesn't even last that long.
I've lost EIGHTY POUNDS. One of my kids weighs 88 pounds. I've finally lost some of my baby weight - har har, har, har, har.
I didn't expect it today. OK, I kinda did. But we were away for the weekend with friends, and that's always a gamble.
Although, in retrospect, I didn't go on a bender, or do anything I shouldn't have. I stuck to the plan.
I drank almost an entire bottle of wine. That would have been a downfall.
And... a martini.
We ate out.
We were busy.
I didn't track my calories.
But other than all that, I planned well, ate well.
There were plenty of goodies I could have eaten, but I skipped them. I had strawberries, egg muffins, cheese muffins, pistachios, my tea... it worked out. And strangely, I didn't care about the food so much. Being able to open my suitcase and grab clothes that felt good on my body was way over the top hands down a better feeling than stuffing a sweet, gooey cupcake in my mouth.
The way I felt in my clothes lasted all day and into the night, and a cupcake doesn't last that long. An orgasm doesn't even last that long.
Post-Christmas Hangover
Christmas has come and gone.
I had a difficult time staying on track. I knew what I was doing, and was conscious of it - but was too busy and stressed to care.
I gained 2 pounds, from what I can tell. I'm not happy about it, but I'm not destroyed over it.
I'm done over indulging, though - or done not tracking my calories.
It will be hard come New Year's Eve, since we always have a party. That might not be a great calorie day for me, either. But I will make it ONE day.
The hardest part is getting your body - and taste buds - re-regulated after a splurge. I don't think I consumed as many sweets as I have in the past because my taste buds don't need/want sweets as much. I made all baked goods small (or regular size). My bars were small, probably 1/4 maybe even 1/8 of Starbucks size. They were perfect. I feel like that was a "win" to have retrained my brain on what portion sizes are appropriate. But, after having a few, it's going to be a killer couple days detoxing from the sweets.
When your body is craving sweets and carbs, it can be murder. That's the hardest part. That might be the reason to not indulge - the aftermath. Not just the calories our pounds gained, but taking steps back in cravings.
I weighed myself today and I was 276 - two pounds up. I worked so hard for those two pounds, and now I need to work again. God, grant me the strength.
I had a difficult time staying on track. I knew what I was doing, and was conscious of it - but was too busy and stressed to care.
I gained 2 pounds, from what I can tell. I'm not happy about it, but I'm not destroyed over it.
I'm done over indulging, though - or done not tracking my calories.
It will be hard come New Year's Eve, since we always have a party. That might not be a great calorie day for me, either. But I will make it ONE day.
The hardest part is getting your body - and taste buds - re-regulated after a splurge. I don't think I consumed as many sweets as I have in the past because my taste buds don't need/want sweets as much. I made all baked goods small (or regular size). My bars were small, probably 1/4 maybe even 1/8 of Starbucks size. They were perfect. I feel like that was a "win" to have retrained my brain on what portion sizes are appropriate. But, after having a few, it's going to be a killer couple days detoxing from the sweets.
When your body is craving sweets and carbs, it can be murder. That's the hardest part. That might be the reason to not indulge - the aftermath. Not just the calories our pounds gained, but taking steps back in cravings.
I weighed myself today and I was 276 - two pounds up. I worked so hard for those two pounds, and now I need to work again. God, grant me the strength.
Motivation... Why Hello, There You Are
I thought I'd lost my motivation.
I don't know why. Brain playing tricks on me.
I had a very busy couple of weeks, and here we are in the space between Thanksgiving and Christmas. What I was expecting, I don't know.
A few days I've been too busy to track my food, and that's a tool that has proven useful for me. It is useful because it is a strong indicator of what I've taking into my body, and it holds me accountable. I'm realizing that the daily tracking carries over to help me on my days where I am unable to.
The more I track, the more I educate myself and reinforce the boundaries of what exactly my body needs to function, to lose, and what is too much.
What gets hard for me is when I lose that "crutch" and have to kind of wander the wilderness without it. It frustrates me a bit, and plays with my head.
The days I'm so busy that my tracking can't be done - or isn't perfection - leave me feeling like it was a fail day. If I'm on vacation and can't get to a place where they have internet so I can track my foods - I have my own mini breakdown (on the inside). I am out of sorts without my SparkPeople. Why oh why can't there be an app that can run without internet?
So far I haven't completely blown it. But I teeter just a bit. I can feel it. I don't like that I'm so married to an app. I really don't. But... some people are married to the gym and if they don't hit that (bike/weights/treadmill) they feel incomplete. It isn't just that feeling of being incomplete for me, it is more the concern that that feeling will lead me into a pitfall.
It is the one sip for the alcoholic.
The one flirt for the incurable cheater.
The sneaked cigarette for the smoker.
Right now (and maybe forever or a very long time), I need to be accountable. I know my weaknesses, and I know that tracking my food has been IMPLEMENTAL in my weight loss. I'm not saying I like it, enjoy it, or hope to do it foreverandever. I like to dream that someday I will just know my limits. That might just be dreaming.
I also know that my strict black-and-white policies that I set for myself don't allow for a lot of wiggle room, and are also probably not the healthiest approach at all times. One bad day doesn't have to be a set up for a bad weekend or week. I am learning that. Or I am able to cope a bit better at that. I am able to cope a bit better with not losing one week. Mainly that is because right now I'm so freaking happy with the fact that I'm in a better place than I was.
Today I weighed myself and I had to repeat it because I was at 274. I often weigh back in on Wednesday and sometimes Friday. At any rate, I hope that sticks. I'd love to hit 269 in the next month. It won't be easy with all the eating and gatherings to go to, but we shall see. Again, this is why I'm semi-happy with just maintaining. Most people (including myself) expect to gain over the holidays.
I don't know why. Brain playing tricks on me.
I had a very busy couple of weeks, and here we are in the space between Thanksgiving and Christmas. What I was expecting, I don't know.
A few days I've been too busy to track my food, and that's a tool that has proven useful for me. It is useful because it is a strong indicator of what I've taking into my body, and it holds me accountable. I'm realizing that the daily tracking carries over to help me on my days where I am unable to.
The more I track, the more I educate myself and reinforce the boundaries of what exactly my body needs to function, to lose, and what is too much.
What gets hard for me is when I lose that "crutch" and have to kind of wander the wilderness without it. It frustrates me a bit, and plays with my head.
The days I'm so busy that my tracking can't be done - or isn't perfection - leave me feeling like it was a fail day. If I'm on vacation and can't get to a place where they have internet so I can track my foods - I have my own mini breakdown (on the inside). I am out of sorts without my SparkPeople. Why oh why can't there be an app that can run without internet?
So far I haven't completely blown it. But I teeter just a bit. I can feel it. I don't like that I'm so married to an app. I really don't. But... some people are married to the gym and if they don't hit that (bike/weights/treadmill) they feel incomplete. It isn't just that feeling of being incomplete for me, it is more the concern that that feeling will lead me into a pitfall.
It is the one sip for the alcoholic.
The one flirt for the incurable cheater.
The sneaked cigarette for the smoker.
Right now (and maybe forever or a very long time), I need to be accountable. I know my weaknesses, and I know that tracking my food has been IMPLEMENTAL in my weight loss. I'm not saying I like it, enjoy it, or hope to do it foreverandever. I like to dream that someday I will just know my limits. That might just be dreaming.
I also know that my strict black-and-white policies that I set for myself don't allow for a lot of wiggle room, and are also probably not the healthiest approach at all times. One bad day doesn't have to be a set up for a bad weekend or week. I am learning that. Or I am able to cope a bit better at that. I am able to cope a bit better with not losing one week. Mainly that is because right now I'm so freaking happy with the fact that I'm in a better place than I was.
Today I weighed myself and I had to repeat it because I was at 274. I often weigh back in on Wednesday and sometimes Friday. At any rate, I hope that sticks. I'd love to hit 269 in the next month. It won't be easy with all the eating and gatherings to go to, but we shall see. Again, this is why I'm semi-happy with just maintaining. Most people (including myself) expect to gain over the holidays.
Weigh In: 276
I was FINALLY ASKED IF I'VE LOST WEIGHT.
That's one of my goals, to have someone ask if I've lost. Chhhheeeee-eck. Down. Unfortunately it was the same person who asked me last time (my sis-in-law) when I set that as a goal. So... I'm going to wait for someone else to ask me. But it was good to have someone notice something.
I weighed myself THREE times today. First it was 276. Then, I went to the bathroom and it went to 277 (what the fudge?) - then I did a final weigh in and it was back at 276. That's where I'm keeping it.
If it's wrong, the scale will remind me of that next time. And I'm due for a period again, so I'm sure it will remind me with blazing fury.
I don't know if that's success or not. Maintaining through a brutal food-laden holiday. Somewhat of success, I guess. I really could have gotten on that train Wednesday night and rode it bareback through Sunday. Maybe even through Monday. Then I would tell myself that I'd skip the weigh in, for shielding horror's sake, and wait until next week. Then next week, decide to wait one more because of my period, and allow two weeks to fly by, and who knows where I'd be.
It's not far-fetched. In fact, when I really think about it, trying to lose (or maintain) through the holidays is... pretty bold. Cocky, you might even say.
Well, I'm feeling cocky. I am fine with my maintaining of 276. Sure, I'd like to have dipped to 275 this week, but oh well. I didin't. I didn't shoot up to 280, which would have been devastating (and could have easily happened).
I'm back on track, counting my calories. Though I'm tired of it, novelty worn off. The desire to lose weight hasn't, so the discipline of monitoring my intake is still there. It's tiring and annoying and one more thing to do. But, it's also gotten me some results.
I feel better. I'm more confident. Just those two things alone are worth it.
I'm still determined to get below 250 here. To show myself that my 265 wasn't the lowest, and isn't. That I CAN do it. I'm scared. I am. Trying not to let the fear stop me. Fear of success, fear of failure. Fear of change. Of being pushed outside my comfort zone. Lots of fears.
THIS WEEK:
This week my challenge is going to be that I am busy. We have a large event being planned for the weekend and I'm one of the people in charge of it. I will be busy preparing. That might be good (because I'll eat less, be busy), or bad (because I'll be stressed and will eat). I'm hoping for the first option.
I also have some emotional stress I'm dealing with, so I'll want more than one glass of wine on occasion. I love my wine. I do, I do.
Finally, my period is coming up. Sometimes that brings on cravings that are, frankly, non-human. I've never really mastered that problem.
Mind over matter. Keep mind from getting too tired so it can continue the good fight.
That's one of my goals, to have someone ask if I've lost. Chhhheeeee-eck. Down. Unfortunately it was the same person who asked me last time (my sis-in-law) when I set that as a goal. So... I'm going to wait for someone else to ask me. But it was good to have someone notice something.
I weighed myself THREE times today. First it was 276. Then, I went to the bathroom and it went to 277 (what the fudge?) - then I did a final weigh in and it was back at 276. That's where I'm keeping it.
If it's wrong, the scale will remind me of that next time. And I'm due for a period again, so I'm sure it will remind me with blazing fury.
I don't know if that's success or not. Maintaining through a brutal food-laden holiday. Somewhat of success, I guess. I really could have gotten on that train Wednesday night and rode it bareback through Sunday. Maybe even through Monday. Then I would tell myself that I'd skip the weigh in, for shielding horror's sake, and wait until next week. Then next week, decide to wait one more because of my period, and allow two weeks to fly by, and who knows where I'd be.
It's not far-fetched. In fact, when I really think about it, trying to lose (or maintain) through the holidays is... pretty bold. Cocky, you might even say.
Well, I'm feeling cocky. I am fine with my maintaining of 276. Sure, I'd like to have dipped to 275 this week, but oh well. I didin't. I didn't shoot up to 280, which would have been devastating (and could have easily happened).
I'm back on track, counting my calories. Though I'm tired of it, novelty worn off. The desire to lose weight hasn't, so the discipline of monitoring my intake is still there. It's tiring and annoying and one more thing to do. But, it's also gotten me some results.
I feel better. I'm more confident. Just those two things alone are worth it.
I'm still determined to get below 250 here. To show myself that my 265 wasn't the lowest, and isn't. That I CAN do it. I'm scared. I am. Trying not to let the fear stop me. Fear of success, fear of failure. Fear of change. Of being pushed outside my comfort zone. Lots of fears.
THIS WEEK:
This week my challenge is going to be that I am busy. We have a large event being planned for the weekend and I'm one of the people in charge of it. I will be busy preparing. That might be good (because I'll eat less, be busy), or bad (because I'll be stressed and will eat). I'm hoping for the first option.
I also have some emotional stress I'm dealing with, so I'll want more than one glass of wine on occasion. I love my wine. I do, I do.
Finally, my period is coming up. Sometimes that brings on cravings that are, frankly, non-human. I've never really mastered that problem.
Mind over matter. Keep mind from getting too tired so it can continue the good fight.
Surviving Thanksgiving
I survived Thanksgiving. Barely.
Turkey Day, my calorie consumption was surely over. I had potatoes (two kinds), meat, sauces, gravy, pies, real whipped cream, cheese, crackers, cornbread... wine. I had it all.
And then I had more later after I cleaned up.
There was some guilt. I could have portioned my food out while I cooked, keeping within my calories. I could have. I think it would have been too overwhelming. But I might next year, if I'm still doing well like I am now.
It is a nuisance to always watch calories/fats/carbs - but it is not too much fun to feel uncomfortable in your own skin either.
Problem is, my fatigue and overwhelmedness carried over into the next day as well.
I counted my calories, but I'm not doing nearly as good as I did a few days ago. I'm not excited about weighing in, either.
I can't figure out if it is the holidays in themselves that is exhausting and throw me off, or the indulgence in the food. Maybe a bit of both. But I know I'm not at my best when I'm overwhelmed or stressed. I put all of my energy - good energy - into preparing a nice meal for family. I didn't count calories and calculate recipes - I baked by heart, putting into the food what I knew would be tasty.
My relaxed attitude spilled over into Wednesday and I went over my calories then.
UGH. It's hard. Today I'm nearly driving myself nuts trying to keep within the boundaries still. I know how disappointed I will be to have to re-lose weight, though - but I'm also trying to keep big picture about it, and not throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I wish I didn't have the issues with food that I have. I wish I could start from my goal weight.
I don't teach my kids to give up, or back down on the fight. I teach them to work hard and to be disciplined. It's hard when you're not doing that yourself. Although nobody, looking at me, would know how hard I've struggled just to maintain my big body, let alone lose.
Turkey Day, my calorie consumption was surely over. I had potatoes (two kinds), meat, sauces, gravy, pies, real whipped cream, cheese, crackers, cornbread... wine. I had it all.
And then I had more later after I cleaned up.
There was some guilt. I could have portioned my food out while I cooked, keeping within my calories. I could have. I think it would have been too overwhelming. But I might next year, if I'm still doing well like I am now.
It is a nuisance to always watch calories/fats/carbs - but it is not too much fun to feel uncomfortable in your own skin either.
Problem is, my fatigue and overwhelmedness carried over into the next day as well.
I counted my calories, but I'm not doing nearly as good as I did a few days ago. I'm not excited about weighing in, either.
I can't figure out if it is the holidays in themselves that is exhausting and throw me off, or the indulgence in the food. Maybe a bit of both. But I know I'm not at my best when I'm overwhelmed or stressed. I put all of my energy - good energy - into preparing a nice meal for family. I didn't count calories and calculate recipes - I baked by heart, putting into the food what I knew would be tasty.
My relaxed attitude spilled over into Wednesday and I went over my calories then.
UGH. It's hard. Today I'm nearly driving myself nuts trying to keep within the boundaries still. I know how disappointed I will be to have to re-lose weight, though - but I'm also trying to keep big picture about it, and not throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I wish I didn't have the issues with food that I have. I wish I could start from my goal weight.
I don't teach my kids to give up, or back down on the fight. I teach them to work hard and to be disciplined. It's hard when you're not doing that yourself. Although nobody, looking at me, would know how hard I've struggled just to maintain my big body, let alone lose.
Going Into The Battle
OK, it's just Thanksgiving, I mean... what could go wrong?
I could consume 5000 calories, setting myself back about a week. That's what.
Or I could drive myself mad trying to count every calorie.
I'm happily cooking away, excited to feed family yummy food.
My strategy for tomorrow is to enjoy - in moderation. That seems like a fair enough deal to me. Taste, savor, but not have a free for all. The calories count, they will have to be made up for. But complete denial would make me unhappy, and an aim for the happy medium is my sweet spot.
I'm looking forward to cooking, mostly.
What's your Thanksgiving Day strategy?
I could consume 5000 calories, setting myself back about a week. That's what.
Or I could drive myself mad trying to count every calorie.
I'm happily cooking away, excited to feed family yummy food.
My strategy for tomorrow is to enjoy - in moderation. That seems like a fair enough deal to me. Taste, savor, but not have a free for all. The calories count, they will have to be made up for. But complete denial would make me unhappy, and an aim for the happy medium is my sweet spot.
I'm looking forward to cooking, mostly.
What's your Thanksgiving Day strategy?
Happy Halloween
It sounds all nice and wonderful on paper. Reality is different.
Cheat days, or allowing flexibility on a day (one day out of a long stretch of days) doesn't seem to show up so much on the scale. But it always seems to show up in my behaviors, my cravings.
I ate a modest breakfast.
I'm forcing myself to go for a long walk.
I'll allow myself some drinks and merriment later. I plan to splurge any sweet-eating on actual bakery goods (cookies or pie or cake) over candy. If I'm going to nibble something delectable I'd rather it be decent food than candy. At least that's how I feel now. We shall see.
I weighed myself today to remind myself of what my goals are. I was at 280. I don't want to make practice of mid-week weigh ins and rely on the scale too much because I know the scale can be a dastardly liar, and doesn't always reflect true progress. But today I'm looking at the number 289. I could maybe dip under that by the end of the week, God willing. We shall see. Most importantly right now for me is continuing to pay attention to what I'm eating, how I'm moving, and that I'm hydrating myself.
And getting my walk in today. In this cold, cold weather.
I'm stalling.
Wanna hang out and talk for a bit? Have some coffee?
Stalling.
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