I Am Back To Where I Was

I weighed in at 280.

I feel sluggish, unhappy, and like I am going to keel over from a heart attack.  No joke.

Each day I say it will be different, and each day it is not different.

My clothes don't fit.

I don't know what to say.

I had a LONG talk with a good friend, and she told me to quit my job.  Tomorrow.  She said put in your notice and don't look back.

I wish I were that strong!

Just the thought of it and I felt recharged.  Free.  Like a burden was lifted.

I looked through the job listings again, and found one that I am going to apply for.  Nothing is as powerful, exciting, and fun as the one I have, but none of them require the amount of driving and time, either.

I just simply can't take care of me, a family, and be the front face of a large organization.  I have to just admit that and let it go and allow myself to be important enough for that to be OK.

I felt SO good 30 pounds ago.  Gaining all that in one year is not healthy.  Truly I've gained most of it int the last few months where I've been the most miserable.

Please, Lord, give me the strength to do better.