It's not a lot, but it's down and not up.

I cut off drinking during the week last week, and that was a nice experiment.  I didn't really miss it, and I ate less.  This week I tried to do the same, and ended up failing Monday and Tuesday.  We went out to dinner with friends Monday and then Tuesday... I just didn't feel like being strong apparently.


It's frustrating.  But I'm determined to keep with it.  Mainly because I feel uncomfortable.  It's so embarrassing, disheartening to know where I was just one year ago, and where I am now.  Part of me wonders if I should talk to my doctor about getting some sort of surgery to help me.  It goes against what I really want, but I also really want to be around longer than most fat-fat people are around.

I don't see many ladies my size or weight that are walking around into their 70s.  Something to think about.

Looking Forward

I'm sipping my second cup of coffee and pretending I don't have to leave for work in 10 minutes.


I'm on a good run with journaling, walking.  Just need to continue.

Continue, continue.

I've allowed myself chocolate.


Other than that, it's been pretty much low carb.

I think I can do a wee bit better than what I'm doing for a small space of time.  Not forever, but... a WEEK?

A good week to cut my carb addiction a bit and kick myself into better habits.  Maybe less cravings, too.  I notice the less carbs I eat (this pas week), the less hungry I am.  The less sugar crashes, too, obviously.

It is hard, though.  It takes some of the "fun" out of things.  But it also will hopefully lead me to a better place with my wardrobe.  SO looking forward to that.

I need to remind myself of it over and over.

286 - Last Night I Had Popcorn For Dinner

I'm trying again.  I am.  Not hardcore, but hardcore-ish.

I'm trying to eat lower carb, higher fat, within a calorie range.

I've done pretty OK.  I've gone over my calories, though.  At one point I weighed in at 283.  I started the week on my period, too.  So I really don't feel like I've accomplished too much.

It's hard for me to decide what I am going to do - extreme low carb/high fat, or simply low carb.

I do think it is always good to do an "induction" where you do well for 2 weeks to kind of cut yourself away from those things that tempt you.

I didn't do a hardcore induction last week and I'm wondering if I should do that starting today - even if it's only for a week.

Last night I had popcorn for dinner.

Not exactly low carb.

But it was what I wanted.

What I really, truly want is to fit back into things again.  That's my goal.  Where my clothes felt good, my body felt smaller, and I felt better.  It's easier to eat what I want, and much funner.  But it's way easier to feel better in my own skin and not have back boobs to the extreme.

The hardest part for me is the fear of all this -- this cycle -- repeating itself again.

Lose, gain.

Lose, gain.