I Have To Start Over

I don't know where to begin, but I need to begin again.

I went on a mini-vacation with friends.  I'm up SEVEN pounds in four days.  Mostly because of beer.

It's difficult to go traveling and have fun with foodies if you don't eat.  I'm paying for it.  Beer (especially) makes things blow up on me.  I was doing OK before that, walking mostly, but maintaining a 283 pound weight.  Sounds silly to have that be a goal to maintain, but seriously when you've hit 338 pounds, there is a matter of perspective.  I NEVER want to hit 300 again in my life.  Not ever.

But since I've been there, I assume I could get there again.

At any rate, I need a refresh.  I need to start over.  I remember how great I felt at 251.  How great everyone said I looked.  How much more versatile my wardrobe was.  I need to get back there.  It's 40 pounds, and when I look back it took me 18 months just to shed 40 pounds.  Seems like a lot.  I'm scared of the same thing.  I'm scared it will never happen.  It's hard to thing, gee in a year and a half I can feel SO much better!!

Now I'm instantly getting depressed.  Great.  I'm instantly feeling like the mountain is way too high.

I have to chuck those feelings and instead take it as a challenge.