I said it. I know I have to, I just don't know how or when. I know that, optimally, it would be nice to do it and have a break. Maybe a month. It would be hard (financially), but I think that's where I'm at mentally and emotionally. If I don't do it soon I might have a nervous breakdown.
It's hard because I sincerely love it. I'm proud of what I do, I do a good job, and I enjoy it. I add value to the workplace.
But my reasons for needing a change are larger than my reasons for staying. They mean more to me.
I hope that I don't look back and regret it, but I don't think I will. I regret the time I would have away from my family for the next few years, and that is time I will never get back. I don't need to be with them every second, but I do want to be there for the milestones, the dinners. The long run, if I can. There will be time in my life, I suppose, for a full-time job, or one that takes more of me than my off-time life - but now isn't the time.
It's going to take strength in me to do this.
On another note, I haven't lost any weight since the beginning of the month. It started out looking promising, but I'm no better off half-way through. I'm disappointed. Frustrated. I'm starting to get depressed, wanting to just curl up in a ball and not move for a long, long time.
I don't know if a shift in schedule (my job) will be what I need. I really don't.
Fitness For a Fat Girl
Decent Week
This week (well starting July 1st) I was able to track all of my food with about 95% accuracy. I'm happy with that. It's a step in the right direction. I didn't do perfect on my eating, but I did better. I also did better on my movement.
This is good. I feel better about things.
One thing that helped, I have to admit, is my short week. I worked Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then had off Friday - Monday.
Another "nail in the coffin" for me at my current job. I need to get out of there as soon as possible. My husband would be Ok with me quitting tomorrow, if that's what I said I wanted to do. But I really would like to have something lined up. I hope I don't regret not quitting now. I'll see.
We did a lot this weekend. Things I haven't been able to muster up the energy to do since I started working. I slept in for FOUR DAYS. We went out walking almost every day - not always a "fitness walk" but just outside, doing things, rather than sitting at home all day exhausted. It felt really good.
This is good. I feel better about things.
One thing that helped, I have to admit, is my short week. I worked Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then had off Friday - Monday.
Another "nail in the coffin" for me at my current job. I need to get out of there as soon as possible. My husband would be Ok with me quitting tomorrow, if that's what I said I wanted to do. But I really would like to have something lined up. I hope I don't regret not quitting now. I'll see.
We did a lot this weekend. Things I haven't been able to muster up the energy to do since I started working. I slept in for FOUR DAYS. We went out walking almost every day - not always a "fitness walk" but just outside, doing things, rather than sitting at home all day exhausted. It felt really good.
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