Hello, Old Friend

I know. It has been a while. Funny the world. Sadly, I have not done much blogging, not here anyway. Well, not anywhere, actually.

Fantastically, I'm right where I need to be. I've not fallen off the wagon (though I've come close). I'm not walking every day. I'll admit that. But I am still doing my daily Bible readings. So, hey. I'm here.

Lent brought on some introspection for me, as I focused on my eating and the lack of discipline I have in that area. The thoughtfulness turned me to SparkPeople, and I've been tracking my food diligently for the past few days. Denying myself abandon with something I lso dearly love and rely on is not easy. But it was good (and necessary) for me to do.

First it was just desserts. Not all sweets, just simply bakery items (cookies, cakes, bars) -- the "extra" lovies I pick up when I go for coffee or eat out. Finishing with a sweet, buttery, salty, fatty (something) is habit to a fault. I will supplement my diet simply to eat a sweet. Like, I'll want a morning bun so I'll scramble some eggs to eat with it to lower the glycemic blow. What?! Yes. Seriously.

So then that rolled into tracking my food intake, which I felt inspired to do one day - not for any reason. It hasn't been long (only 5 days), but it is an excellent way to take a snapshot of my eating behaviors, making me more conscious of what I'm doing. I like it better than paper journaling at this point because I can track so much more (calories, fats) without much work. I'm not saying it's forever, but I am saying it's for now.

I lost a pound or two. Last I remember was hovering at 295, staggering towards 300 at times, but maintaining a pretty steady 295. I weighed in on my Wii the other day and was 293. How badly I want to get down below 290 right now. How badly I want to be able to fit the clothes I wore 2 (3?) summers ago (and looked so cute in). It was only 10 pounds away. I can get there, 10 pounds. If I really tried maybe I could get there in a month?

Day by day by day. When I think it it seems so easy. But when I do it, minute by minute - it is really hard. And weight doesn't come off so easily right now. But anyway. I was just checking in. With myself, probably, 'cause there's a lot of fat people dropping like flies.


Elenamary said...

i came today to read your entries and get re-motivated myself. my goal is to read you more for inspiration to keep on the wagon myself ( i keep falling off too).

Bonita Gordita said...

Thank you Elenamary. I appreciate that. Rooting for ya, girl!!!