287 - Discipline And Balance

I made it through 1 week of tracking my calories. Tracking them and staying within my range. Yesterday I went over by 20 I think, but in the scheme of things, that was OK, because I was under a couple days ago, too.

I truly wish I knew what it was that allows me to accomplish a week of sensible eating. Take a life-long snapshot of anyone who struggles with weight loss and see them jumping on and off the wagon. It's a true battle.

Right now my motivation is really how I feel. I don't like how my clothes fit. A year ago this time I felt so much better in my own body, and in my clothes. I was happily buying a smaller shirt size, and close to needing a smaller pant size. It frustrates me to have to be back-tracking, but it also frustrates me to have let myself slip.

I freaking love food. This week has been a victory food-wise, but I haven't been enjoying what I eat so much. Strangely, though, I also haven't really cared. My focus hasn't been on what I eat. It's almost like I have to not care to succeed. Last night I was going to indulge and splurge on some ice-cream. But I didn't. I stayed the course, came home and had one of my low fat ice creams. Probably wasn't as good, but I also didn't have regrets.

I'm hoping to continue this streak of better eating. I do know that we are set to have a dinner and drinks out this weekend, and I will probably go over. My goal is to do well this week and kick up the exercise so that I can relax a bit (still making sensible choices when we dine out) but not get too frustrated either way (frustrated because I'm not enjoying my food, or frustrated that my emphasis is too much on the food).

Balance.

I think I only walked twice this week. Right now our finances won't allow for a gym membership, but I really need to have something that burns more calories than walking. Something I can hop on quick during the day (treadmill or indoor bike). But we also need a major appliance and money is tight.

If only weight-loss was my only issue. Again, it is balancing everything. My eating, my exercising, my finances, on and on. Discipline. Balance. That's what will help me make progress everywhere in life. That, apparently, is what I need to learn.