Reality Check

Here is why it is good to journal. It keeps you accountable. Sometimes it shows you how far you've come, and sometimes it is a mirror to show you what work you need to do. Either is good.

This is a journal entry from a year ago (slightly abbreviated):

Springtime... I decided I might just break out a pair of capris from last year. Why not?

I took out a pair that I picked up from Fashion Bug. They're super comfortable. I slid them on. No. That's not true. I
went to slide them on an realized that I more had to stuff them on. And I could barely zip them.

I tried on 2 more pairs - my looser pairs. They were uncomfortable. Oh my gosh. UNcomfortable. Like - what the heck am I going to wear in a few weeks?! I'm devastated... I seriously need some prayer and support. Don't we all? What is the magic key that had me start this so long ago? How did I, at 330 make a decision to go down instead of be lazy and keep gaining?

... I was happier when I was simply 20 pounds lighter. I felt good. Clothes felt good - they fit better. I am not so weak that I can't lose 20 pounds.

Right now I'm 299. I want to hit 279 before summer...

Last year was rough around this time. I'll admit. I don't blame myself for needing to focus on my family instead of my eating. But I'm still glad I wrote about my struggles with my clothing. It was such a disappointment to me to take out the wardrobe I so proudly accumulated, only to bust the buttons off of the jeans and rip zippers. I kept having to go back to the few faithful "fat" pants that I had. I refused to buy any new clothing to fit my expanded body

And today I can fit back into those clothes. I'd like for them to be loose on me very soon.


Nona said...

I identify with this post soooooo much. I had the same thing happen to me at Christmas. I went to visit my folks in Barbados and tried to get into the capris I'd left there the year before. They couldn't even get up my thighs and I was just so distressed and disappointed in myself. I brought those pants back to London with me and like you, I can fit back into them now. So YAY for you and YAY for me.


Bonita Gordita said...

*high five*

It sure does feel good, doesn't it?

...three sixty-three no more... said...

I loved your post and can relate to much. I really can. Great job:)

Bonita Gordita said...

Thank you 360. :)