I hate to even put this out there - but I feel GREAT.
I suspect the honeymoon won't last forever. But I'm hoping it will.
We went to a movie, I had to walk all the way to the top, up the stairs, in front of everyone. Piece of cake. No worries. Back down, back up. No problem.
Yesterday we were at a big sporting event. Last year this time, I didn't like walking in front of everyone through the gym. Yesterday - who cares!? I was fine.
It is amazing what feeling (better) in your own skin can do for you. I want to continue to reinforce that. I know that I felt better at 260-anything than I did at 290-anything. That should be a no-brainer.
It is a constant day to day struggle, an effort, to always be watching (meticulously) what I'm eating. I will not lie. But it'st he only thing that has worked for me. The only thing.
A few days ago I went for a walk with my son and husband. I have short legs that take small steps. Anytime I walk with my husband or sons, I take two steps for their one. I've accepted this as normal. My son, though, is a teenager and he's not as compassionate to my disability as my husband, so he doesn't even notice that I'm practically dying while he's happily jaunting along.
We're walking, it's dark, and I get this insatiable desire... need to run. I felt like my body just needed to DO IT. So I did. Not anything graceful and pretty like those twiggy runners you see floating along the sides of the road. No, more like the old men who shuffle-run down the street and you wonder if they are indeed dying instead of running.
And I liked it. As I shuffled, I said, "I'm a runner." I received a funny look from my husband. "I am. I'm a runner. I've seen plenty of people in their runner gear, going around town doing this. I'm running, see? See?"
You know what my husband said?
"It's a start."
Interesting. I fully expected him to kind of laugh at me, but he encouraged me. I don't know if I could have kept it up for the full 20 minutes that I normally walk, but I kept it up for 5 of them. I tried to pick up the pace for a bit, but then I got that belly-flap sound that I was talking about yesterday and I stopped. Enough of that.
I haven't really been exercising much the last couple of weeks. I've been trying to keep busy, keep off my butt more, but not really pushing it yet. I will. Just not yet. Maybe a shuffle-run here and there.