Fat Ladies Break Chairs

I took my son to his dentist appointment. He wanted me to come in the room with him. Not a big deal, I can do that.

But when they took him to his chair, and showed me min, I almost died. It was a director's chair. You know, like, the most unstable looking chair on the face of the earth, besides a flimsy plastic lawn chair.

I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but I also didn't want to sit on it and have the legs give out on the chair like a newborn calf.

I know that chair's capacity wasn't no 260 pounds. More like 190. But I sat in it anyway. No fancy sitting, just straight down, hands on lap kind of thing.

It didn't break.

Then I noticed. Something that I've been noticing for a while now.


This might not be a big deal to most people, but when I was 330 pounds, armrests were torture. They dug into the sides of my legs, pushing on my varicose vein, making my leg go numb after not too long. It consistently happened. Not only uncomfortable, by squeezing my fat more compactly, but painful.

I remember this happening before to me. It was monumental. It is now happening with more frequency. In that post I linked, I also wrote this:

I am finding that I'm still somewhat frightened of losing weight. As much as I enjoy being able to fit into the clothes I have (gosh it feels fabulous), I'm still scared. I'm super excited, though, to have the scale dip below 250. That will be exciting. 238, 100-pounds down will be pee-my-pants hoorah. It will also probably be quite a while, though, because I'm enjoying summer and all of the fun foods, drinks BBQs, sporting events, all that good stuff.
That was in 2010, three years ago. It's been a long, slow ride, with many ups and downs for me. But I see that 338 on the horizon, and I do want to catch up to it.

All the changes I've felt on this journey of mine I've felt before when I've lost this weight.
I'm ready for some new ones. For some of those changes that bring me back to 20 years ago -- something I haven't felt in a long, long time.

THAT excites me. Being able to stretch farther because there is less fat in my way excites me.

The thought of running and playing excites me.

1 comment:

Lori said...

You'll do it this time. You're head is in a good place and that is the biggest part of the battle.