Day By Day

I don't know what's happening to me.

I quit my job.  It was hard and liberating at the same time.  It will put financial burdens on us.  Period.  I couldn't hold out any longer.  Every day I woke miserable and every night I dreaded the next day.  Maybe a lot of people feel like that?

It's not one of those things where I'm "lucky I can quit my job."  It's going to suck.  It already does.  Life is uncertain, I will have to throw myself into interviewing.  Again.

I wish I knew what it all was.

I wish I could find someone to talk to that would help me figure it out.  I don't think I'm doing very well.

I looked back at my posts and last year June when my job started to look sketchy.  Then they told me I might not have a job.  Then I had to really start looking.

Then I had a moment's peace, thinking maybe I'd explore something else - write a book, do something, and try to make something positive of it.

And then I got offered the full-time job of my dreams, and life was busy and fast and I took the job.

And nearly a year later I'm miserable and jobless.

And... you know what?  I'm sitting here at home by myself, having a pity party.  What the heck IS that?

I went back and read my old posts.  I was going along well.  I was in shape better than I have been in 20 years, looking and feeling good.

I hit a BUMP with my job.  That's it.  Grand scheme of things - I tried it, it didn't work.  I need to MOVE on, not run it over in my head so much, and take it as it comes and have FAITH that God is on my side. He has good things in store for me.

Period.

I can't sit here and dwell on this for hours at a time.  Maybe I need to go see someone and talk it out.  Then I do it.  Whatever the rate - I'm done.  I quit --which I've wanted to do for months-- I should rejoice and take advantage of it, instead of sitting here feeling crappy about it.

Yes.