Sore And Should vs Could

Hi. I'm sore.

I hate lunges. I'm not even sure they are good for me (and my knees), but I did all of them yesterday. A few hours later I went shopping. I felt like an old lady. People may assume that my slowness to squat was due to my fatness. No. No, it wasn't. It was due to my lunges.

I did really good yesterday staying under my calories, wasn't very hungry (despite working out, which usually makes me ravenously hungry), and actually took a walk before going to bed.

It was so NOT like me. I don't expect that to be my norm, but it is nice to have a day where I feel like the food doesn't rule me. It's weird, I was full during dinner (1/2 baked potato and 3oz. of pork). If I could have days like yesterday 90% of the time, I'd be much better off.


Today, though, I strayed from the norm (1 egg, 1 toast) and made an omelet (2 eggs, cheese, 1 toast). That was a "big" breakfast for me. I'm not too adventurous when it comes to breakfast time. I need to just DO and not think. Works for me.


Last night as I lay in bed entering my workouts and dinner into my SparkPeople, I clicked around looking at charts, reports and such. 

I have to admit some frustration looking at it. I adjusted it to "start" around September 2012, rather than three years ago (or four?) when I really started at Spark. But the orange line of progress, according to the chart, had me down at 263 for where I should be right now. That's 12 pounds lower than I actually am.

So technically I'm not on track for my 198 goal in November of 2013.

I shouldn't be frustrated with that because last year this time I was 294 pounds. Twenty more pounds than I am right now. Instead of bashing myself for where I feel like I should be, I should look at where I could be. Honestly, I feel about 50/50 with the whole thing. 

It frustrates me to spend so much time losing and gaining the same 20 - 25 pounds over three years. I'd much rather have lost the total of 60 - 75 pounds than work at re-losing the same weight over and over.

Lord, please help me change this pattern and keep on the right track.

I also need to remind myself where I started from: 338

Since leaving that arena, I've yet to go back to it. I hope, at some point, I can say that about the 270's.


Elenamary said...

but do you like the soreness? my thighs are hurting right now, and i am walking a little off, but i feel like an awesome beast. i kinda like knowing that i am pushing myself especially when i didn't think i was yesterday.

Lori said...

Girlfriend! I have thought many many times about how thin I'd be right now if I hadn't wasted all this time losing the same pounds over and over.

This time I have promised myself that won't happen.

Bonita Gordita said...

@Elanamary - Yes, yes, I do. I feel like an awesome beast as well. I imagine the soreness is helping to burn calories, too. :)

Lori, tell me about it. :/ The same 20 pounds = 60 pounds of effort!