Soda Drinkers

Excuse me while I rant a bit.

You know what ruffles my feathers? Is when I hear someone say, " I lost 40 pounds and, you know, I really haven't have to modify my diet very much yet. Basically, I just stopped drinking soda and the weight melted right off."

That's some crazy stuff. That's not a "weight issue" that's seriously an educational issue. If you're drinking so much sugared soda that your body packs on over 40-pounds of weight? I mean, more power to ya - it's a simple change that makes a BIG impact. I wish my problems were that easy. I can't even tell you the last time I drank a full-on, sugared soda. My mom had my pudgy butt sucking down the first sugar-free sodas that made your feet turn to flippers from the corrosive chemicals they contained. That's not even on my radar anymore. It's not an option.

Don't hate the player, hate the game. I know, I know. I'm not hating on you soda drinkers that are shown the light. OK, maybe a teeny bit.

- - -

On another note, I'm still in the semi-obsessive start-zone of getting my fitness back on track, so I'm finding myself on the scale more than I normally do. I will note that my Wii Fit (which I use, along with my shipping scale) weighed me in at 289.something. Which would mean I've lost 2 pounds (question mark, question mark, exclamation point). I'm aware that weight fluctuates throughout the day. But I'm pretty positive that I will make and pass that weight, so I'm trying not to worry about it (by "worry" I mean, lend myself to being concerned that come next weigh-in it will have all been a fluctuating lie and I will weigh 300 pounds again).

At any rate, Happy St. Patty's Day.

Processed Food Diet

Little rice cakes, lean Hot Pockets, breakfast shakes, 100-calorie popcorn...

And a Guinness beer. For the 2nd night in a row. If that's wrong, I just don't wanna be right. OK, maybe I do, but I'm having a hard time of it. Guinness gives me the most pack for the least punch, and I would like a beer every now and then. I'm worried, though, that even if I stay within my caloric intake, the beer is going to stagnate my weight loss. Has happened before.

I did take two (count 'em) two walks. And now I will go eat a salad to get my greens on.

I love that there's these low-calorie options out there, but I also feel like I'm eating the word "processed" with a capitol P. It might be what I need right now to keep things simple, and to stay on track. But my longer term goal would be to eat simpler (read: less-processed) foods, in moderation that still allows for a healthier way of being.

For the record: I did not buy the pre-packaged 100-calorie snacks. I bought the BIG bag and divided them up into the portions myself. I mean, come on now. Why am I going to pay all that just to have it in those little packages (if I don't have to)?

Two Blogs in One Day

I'm hungry. Has been the case the past week. The only day I didn't feel pangs of hunger was the day I went and ate out and gorged (well, not "off-the-wagon" kind of gorge, though). I look at the food I've eaten and it seems like a decent amount. I could just tuck it in and not eat, bank up the calories.

But I don't think I'm there yet.

I worry if I get too severe on myself I will suddenly detach my jaw like a python and swallow the kitchen in one fell swoop. And then move on to take-out.

So I think I'll have a bowl of cereal or something. Stay within my limits, but use every calorie I'm allotted (which right now is 2300, give or take a little bit).

Weighing Everything, Including Myself

I don't trust the scale. I weigh in on 2 different scales. Maybe it is a mind game I play with myself, or maybe it is because one of my scales is too inconsistent for me. So the scale I've been weighing in on for months says I'm down to 291. I like it... but it makes me nervous. Because the other scale reads in 2 pounds heavier. I have to get over it and just use one and forget the other.

Get over it. Get over it. I digress and obsess, though. But need to remind myself that I'm looking at a way too narrow picture. Pound-by-pound weight loss is such a narrow view. When I get hung up on it I begin to sabotage myself.

So instead I'll focus on the BIGGER picture: last week I journaled every food that went into my mouth. Monday through Friday I stayed within my limits, Saturday I broke even and Sunday I went over. But I didn't lie to myself about what I was eating and I was much more thoughtful on what I put into my mouth, why and when.

It wasn't easy, either. There were times when I'd be disappointed with having to see how many calories I had left. But I need to know these things. I've tracked points and carbs before, which was helpful. But tracking calories along with that paints a different picture. It's harder than carbs and points, I think, but it gives a broader scope.

So I'm going to continue tracking this week as well. It is going to be a challenge because I have 3 social-eating events coming up (St. Patty's Day, Book Club, and a night out with friends on Saturday). I'll want to have wine, I'll want to have snacks... and I'll have to remember everything I put in my mouth. I'm hoping that being really good on the other days, diligently getting out for a walk, etc. will enable me to still lose weight, or at least maintain. I'm going to try not to sweat it too much, but I'm also going to try to remind myself to be thoughtful of my eating.

Another "lesson" I'm learning - WEIGH EVERYTHING. I had some Annie Chun's yesterday--yummy, easy Asian meals-- and eyeballed the allotted 1/3 of a box (the serving size). I think I even low-balled it, really, since I made 2 boxes and fed 4 of us last night, but still have at least an entire box left. So this morning I went to have some of the leftovers for lunch but this time I decided to weigh out the actual 77g of noodles.

What a difference weighing makes.

The 77g of noodles in my bowl was nearly nothing. By weighing the amount, I realized that I would really like/need 1.5 servings. I'll have to track that as such. I know this is no new news to most people, and not even myself. It was a good reminder.

Have a great day!!!

Hello, Old Friend

I know. It has been a while. Funny the world. Sadly, I have not done much blogging, not here anyway. Well, not anywhere, actually.

Fantastically, I'm right where I need to be. I've not fallen off the wagon (though I've come close). I'm not walking every day. I'll admit that. But I am still doing my daily Bible readings. So, hey. I'm here.

Lent brought on some introspection for me, as I focused on my eating and the lack of discipline I have in that area. The thoughtfulness turned me to SparkPeople, and I've been tracking my food diligently for the past few days. Denying myself abandon with something I lso dearly love and rely on is not easy. But it was good (and necessary) for me to do.

First it was just desserts. Not all sweets, just simply bakery items (cookies, cakes, bars) -- the "extra" lovies I pick up when I go for coffee or eat out. Finishing with a sweet, buttery, salty, fatty (something) is habit to a fault. I will supplement my diet simply to eat a sweet. Like, I'll want a morning bun so I'll scramble some eggs to eat with it to lower the glycemic blow. What?! Yes. Seriously.

So then that rolled into tracking my food intake, which I felt inspired to do one day - not for any reason. It hasn't been long (only 5 days), but it is an excellent way to take a snapshot of my eating behaviors, making me more conscious of what I'm doing. I like it better than paper journaling at this point because I can track so much more (calories, fats) without much work. I'm not saying it's forever, but I am saying it's for now.

I lost a pound or two. Last I remember was hovering at 295, staggering towards 300 at times, but maintaining a pretty steady 295. I weighed in on my Wii the other day and was 293. How badly I want to get down below 290 right now. How badly I want to be able to fit the clothes I wore 2 (3?) summers ago (and looked so cute in). It was only 10 pounds away. I can get there, 10 pounds. If I really tried maybe I could get there in a month?

Day by day by day. When I think it it seems so easy. But when I do it, minute by minute - it is really hard. And weight doesn't come off so easily right now. But anyway. I was just checking in. With myself, probably, 'cause there's a lot of fat people dropping like flies.

Day 122

Today is day 122 of my daily walking.

I'm still doing it. I may have missed a walk or two, but I haven't missed a daily Bible reading, and honestly, that's just more important.

I haven't lost any weight. But that's OK. Actually I think I gained a few and re-lost them. So I guess I'm back at One. Again.

I'm doing OK. Not bad, not good. The same. I got a Wii Fit, which is fun.

365 Days of Exercize... I think today is day 33

Who knows what day I'm on. If I weren't so bloody lazy, I'd figure it out. But I think it is 33, and though I've contemplated quitting, I haven't been able to muster up the will to do so.

Not quitting reading. I'm determined to read the Bible through. But walking. Every day. Some days this week, out of fatigue and sheer lack of time, I walked in place for 5 minutes, and then later did the same. It wasn't even about the act of walking, it was about obedience, and doing it, regardless. And obidience, I have to say, sometimes SUCKS.

I'm finding that this has more to do with me and God than me and my fat behind. As I go through some of the most trying times of my life, I find myself leaning on the rock that is Jesus, depsite myself.

But I'm not a wussy. As much as I'd love to say that I am, surrender, and dive into a vat of liquor and high-fat-content food and not come out. I'm more defiant than that. Satan can't suck me down without a fight. I do believe the struggles of this world are not against flesh and blood but against the powers and spiritual wickedness of the world.