Help Me Through This Week

Each week presents its own challenge. This one is moving my kid back to college.
School shopping.

Emotions. That's what it is.

I don't mind the kids going back to school, but I also love having my kids around. I'm not excited about my college-aged kid leaving again, because I know that some day he'll be out on his own and I won't have him here eating dinners, taking showers, sleeping under the same roof as us. I know that will be true eventually for all of them, and I'm not looking forward to it. I really cherish these times.

This weekend we went to the park and just watched our big kids hang out with each other. If I could have stopped the world and hung out at that place in time for infinity, I'd be content.

Life is a racing train and there's times you want it to speed up, and others when you're hitting the brakes trying desperately to slow it down.


Emotions:
I'm doing better. I'm hanging in there. I'm not as sharp-edged, angry, quick-tempered as I was a week ago. I need to talk to my doctor about this PMS as soon as possible. It's so horrible. Awful. When I'm not feeling that way, I look back and kind of shudder at how horrible it feels.

Still, emotions are what often drives me. Drives my food/eating, my exercising or non-exercising.

Eating:
I've slacked off a lot. Not tracked my calories or water, not intentional exercised. This week I have to push myself to keep on track. To gain would make me miserable. I don't want that to happen. I've been keeping pretty low-carb and on track that way, but have let a few things pass my lips I shouldn't have - but I brought my own food to my girl's dinner, and didn't cheat there. Victory.

Drinking:
I also slipped and had a 1/2 a beer. It's been MONTHS since I've had a beer. But that 1/2 beer was enough. It was tasty, and then I moved on to my Zevia cola. I was happy about that. I made a point to myself NOT to be drinking - not to celebrate, and not to numb pain. Whatever I'm feeling, I want to feel. I had a few glasses of wine at my girls' dinner, so I really didn't need to be having anything again the next night.

Goals:
I don't have any lofty goals right now besides simply wanting to make it through the week with grace. I want to walk. I want to eat right. I want to keep my composure and not lose it when I drop my kid off at school. I want to not be nervous and anxious and worried.

I plan to read my Bible more this week and lean on that rather than my food and my drinks. I plan to focus on the blessings in front of me. I do have many.

Anyway, I'm OK. I'm hanging in there, and trying to refocus myself.  I'm not saying things have gone from crappy to perfect - but I'm trying to catch myself.