Not a Plateau

I wouldn't say I'm at a plateau, but I have maintained my weight this week. A plateau would mean that, despite my continued weight-loss efforts, my body refuses to lose weight. I can not say that I was entirely diligent in the weight-loss effort department this week. And that's OK. Maybe subconsciously I need a bit of a break.

I went to lunch with one of my bosses this week. I don't normally do that, even though the opportunity is constantly there. I work in an office of people who love to do lunch. Lunch out of the office or take-out brought into the office, doesn't matter. 99.9% of the time I turn down lunch offers. I always have. Be it money or me watching what I eat, or the fact that I'm working and need to get things done. Last week, though, came to a point of You Can't Refuse The Boss. So I didn't. My resistance was down anyway. It was an excuse not to work on a slow day, it was dinner on the boss, and I like my boss.

And I like food, not to mention.

So I went. Ate reasonable. Enjoyed it. Moved on. Saved my Lean Cuisine for another day.

There's no way I can make it practice, of coarse, or it would be a sabotage of my good habits.

But last week was filled with experiences somewhat like that. Two weeks of this is not good, as far as losing weight goes. I'm tickled to have lost last week and maintained this week, but time has come to gather the discipline despite the food-eating opportunities that summer brings. The heat has been an unfortunate factor for me, too. I haven't gone on the walks I normally do.

So my goal for this next week will be to journal my food every single day and to exercise. Pretty simple. All of this, of coarse, to see the needle on the scale bob a bit lower, which is the whole point of things right now. I'm ready to be out of my 26 pants, feel them getting looser.

It is a delicate balance of motivating myself to move on, but being in tune enough to know not to push to much. Technically, I should be able to stay at 266 for a year. 266 is better than 298, which is better than 338. Using that broader perspective, I am at a better place than I've been in years. I don't want to push myself so much that I throw in the towel.

So we'll see. My hope is continued weight loss. But bigger picture I don't ever want to be back where I was at 298.

Cocktails and Conversation

First and foremost: my dog stinks. He's sitting right next to me, wondrous companion that he is, and reeks of doggie stench. Love him anyway.

Speaking of doggie, he's great. Haven't had him for too long, a couple months, really. But it is so nice to have someone to walk with. He's not big, so I couldn't take him for much more of a walk than I do (3 miles maybe 4 tops). A guard dog he is not, but a joyful tag-along he is.

Yesterday we went out for drinks and chatting with a couple of friends. Prior to cocktails and conversation I hauled donkey on a 40-minute walk, purposely hitting a few hills and keeping the momentum at a nice clip. All this so that I didn't have to worry too much about what I ate, knowing I'd have to burn some calories just to make up for it.

Sitting on my barstool, I enjoyed the looseness of the cotton shirt I was wearing. Last year it was snug on my hips, this year it hangs loosely. Must make note of these things and continually remind myself how much better it feels to be comfortable in my skin.

I ended up having a couple of drinks and splitting an appetizer with my husband (mini burgers and a scotch egg). Not so bad, could have been worse. Can't make it a nightly event, but for something special it was nice.

Today I'm back on track, and making sure to journal my intake. I'm wearing a pair of shorts that didn't fit me last year. They're still a little snugger than I'd like. I intend to change that.

Have a great day.

266

Through the grazing and the stress, I'm still managing to (slowly) melt away fat (or brain cells, who knows).

OK, OK. Sarcasm aside. Another pound gone. One I don't feel too deserving of, honestly. I feel like I went piggy this past week and didn't put in the exercise time because of the blazing heat. I figured I might stay the same, or go up a pound. So when I stepped on the scale, it was a bit of a surprise to me.

Until I gave it more thought.

The me now is different from the me then, six months ago. Even if I miss a couple of days journaling (I'm not saying it is good, I'm just saying it happens), I try and make up for it-- or I'm really diligent about getting it done for the next few days. Even if I miss a day or two of walking, I put in work another time.

My walks are longer.

My "pigouts" pack less punch.

My food choices are better.

This week we did some pizza pick-up, those $5 special ones with a side of jalapeno cheese bread. Love it, but it is most definitely the devil's food. Greasy, salty, a bit spicy. But falls under the "live to eat" food and not the other way around.

After placing the order, I went and cut up a bell pepper and a tomato, doused it with a tablespoon of Newman's balsamic dressing (light) and ate up, making sure to get my veggies in and fill my tummy on something good.

Pizza comes and I grabbed 3 cheese sticks and a slice of pizza. I ate it all and was stuffed. That... was a pig out.

While feeling the strain of my over indulgence, my mind began to spin (as the norm). I felt like a royal pig with a douse of guilt. But then I contemplated. I stayed within my calorie range that day. No, not the greatest food choices, but still within limits (calorie limits, I think I hit the ceiling on the fat quota). I also noted that I did not go back for seconds. Something that I would normally do. I ate what I put on my plate, and I was done.

Hmm.

Interesting.

Practice breeds habit. Going for walks is becoming a habit. Eating one serving is becoming a habit. Eating smaller more reasonable portions is becoming a habit. Enough so that I'm able to still lose weight, while not being as good as I could be. I'm not saying it is optimum or preferred, but it is a step in the right direction.

Years of lazy eating habits being chipped away at. Never will I get cocky because, like a drug addict, slipping back can make for a sad spell off the wagon.

Versatile Blogger Award

Hey, lookie here. My very first blogger award! How very exciting. Thank you, Allan. Now, with great power comes great responsibility, says Spiderman. Muhahahaha, power. Heh. Deal is, I need to thank the person who gave the award (waves again to Allan), also I need to nominate 15 other bloggers for the award (and tell them about it). Play it forward, so to speak. I also need to tell 7 things you may not know about me.

Seven things about me:

1. I love coffee and red wine, but they're both hard on me delicate tummy.
2. I hate the sun. Well, not hate. If it is cool outside, I can handle it, but on a hot, humid day... oh no. Sun, sun, stay away.
3. I talk to myself. A lot.
4. I love to wear flip-flops, and would wear them all the time if I could.
5. I'm a night owl.
6. I have so many nicknames for my dog it's probably not normal.
7. My toenails are always painted.
8. I hate taking my contacts out of my eyes. No matter how many times I do it, it still ookies me out and I often end up cursing during the process.

So I went above and beyond on the 7 things because I'm going to condense the 15 nommies. Sorry, folks. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

And for my nominations...

Almost Gastric Bypass

Who Ate My Blog?

365 Days with the 330 Pound Woman

Stuffing My Feelings

Bye Bye Fat Pants

Deflating

" I am sitting on the porcelain throne, dropping the deuce, and here to give all the fans a play by play..." -- Allan

Gotta be my favorite line from a blog in a long time. Was peeling through some archives, and couldn't help but feel the need to share that one.

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The other day we were at a family get together and I noticed my auntie-in-law had lost some weight (intentional weight loss, I have to note). I told her how fabulous she looked. "You bet your (string of obscenities) I lose weight," she said, "I lost seventy fricken pounds!!!"

I commended her again, while my head chewed on what a 70-pound loss looks like on her, also noting that I myself had lost 70 pounds. She did look good. Better. Thinner. She looked like a shrunken down version of herself. The same rolls, sags and pillows. Just... smaller rolls, sags and pillows.

Hmm.

That's what straight up weight loss does for you. Shrinks you. Doesn't tone or tighten you, it just takes the air out of the dough. That's... well, that's me. On a less obvious scale. She was maybe where I am now when she started losing weight. And I lost mine in phases of years.

But back to the whole shrinking thing. Right now that's all I'm doing. I'm shrinking myself. In the shower the other day I could feel that my body was smaller. My brain finally caught onto that, feeling my stomach, and noticing it was smaller than before. Shaving my legs, there's less surface. What a strange feeling. I'm not toning, not yet. I can't handle all that yet. One mountain at a time. But I'm thinking about it more and more, thinking I should set some kind of milestone at which I will start to tone. When I reach my goal weight?

My walks are getting longer. Instead of being satiated at 20 minutes, it now takes me about 40 to feel like I've gotten a good amount in. I enjoy my long walks, providing the weather is nice (nice meaning less than 80-degrees and shady). I struggle on the days when it is hot, especially if I have my hair blown out. But my walks are getting longer, and on my long walk the other day I started to think about the fact that I'm going to need to tone up this deflated bag at some point.

In addition to my walking, I'm adding on 3 sets of 50 situps 3 times per week. Not a whole lot, but some foundation work to get me going. My sagging tummy is my worst enemy, and there's no reason not to add that to my "todo" list along with my walking.

I'm glad to say I'm feeling those situps 2 days later, so I know I worked my tummy well.

30 more pounds and I'll have lost 100 pounds. It's not sinking in yet, though. Every goal I reach, I'm always looking for the next one. Right now I can't wait to be on the other side of 200 -meaning being under 250. I'm pretty well motivated to get there, but always wary of the obstacles that await.

Serving Size of Dry vs Cooked Pasta

Figuring out the serving sizes of dry vs. cooked pasta has been a bit of an issue for me. The box says 2oz of dry pasta. Great. That's easy enough, but considering you boil the pasta prior to eating it, dry measurements aren't very helpful. When it comes time to count my calories, I can get a little neurotic trying to figure it all out. So today I did a little experiment.

Below, 2oz. of DRY pasta. Not much to it, just 2oz. of pasta, weighed out. Not very impressive, and doesn't amount to a whole lot.

I boiled this in a small saucepan, separate from the big batch boiling for the rest of the family.

Here it is after being thrown into boiling, salted water for a bout 12 minutes.

Not a huge difference visually. Maybe doubled. But less pasta than my kids would eat in a sitting. More importantly, is the weight.

The COOKED pasta comes to 126 grams.

Dry pasta: 2oz (aka 56 grams)

Cooked pasta: 126 grams (aka 4.3 ounces)

So, a simple calculation would be that you can measure out 4 ounces of cooked pasta to equal the 2oz. serving size of dry pasta.

When eying it up in my bowl, I figured it was about the size of a Lean Cuisine or other pre-packaged foods for fatties. It's a normal serving size. I ate it, with a little bit of sauce, some olive oil and parmesan cheese, contemplating the me a year ago who would probably eat double that amount. Most restaurants give double or triple that for their portion sizes.

Hope that's helpful to someone else. It sure helped me.

Whaap

I know it's not exactly what anyone wants to hear about when they visit a blog, but I'm pretty sure I'm getting my period soon. I hope to God I am. Not because I don't wanna be pregnant (secret is, I'd love to have another baby, unfortunately vasectomies tend to work in the other direction), but it would explain why I feel like walking around with a rolled up newspaper, bonking people over the head with it.

Whaap!!! Whaap!!! Whaap!!!

Lovely.

Drink, You Fool

It's been so hot out the past few days. Our air is not working (going on over a week now) and my mood is suffering because of it. Heat, humidity and me don't make good company.

But I haven't done anything radical. Not yet. I'm hanging in there.

Amazingly I've still managed to get out and exercise here and there, despite the fact that you could fry an egg on my head (if you shaved my hair first). In the cool of the morning right now I'm contemplating a quick walk with my doggie. Contemplating. Haven't quite worked up to it, yet. But it is nice out right now, almost on the verge of raining. Perfect walking weather. The mosquitoes, though, will kill you. Literally. So walks have been hard. After taking yesterday off, though, it is a necessity.

Also a necessity is me drinking oodles of water today. I've slacked off on that (no clue why, still trying to figure it out) ever since the heatwave hit. Does not make sense at all, really. I notice it in my legs, though. I had cramps the other day and couldn't figure out what I'd been doing to give myself leg cramps.

Um.. not drinking water, and existing in a jungle for the past 7 days?

So, the goal today is to drink water and get a nice walk in. I should be able to manage that.

267

I've maintained 269, so I can' mark that as "official" -- but I've also LOST 2 MORE POUNDS!?

Something is just not right. Maybe it is that I so much worry about failing that I figure I will. Maybe I'm so accustomed to getting on the scale and being disappointed when the numbers go up, up, up (or stay the same). I don't know what it is. I'm happy and thrilled, but scared.

I'm 1/2 way to my goal. Wow.

If I can lose the first 70, I should be able to lose 70 more? Right?

I'm not going to worry about that right now. Daily progress, daily battles.

This holiday weekend I had a couple days where I took in too many calories (think fireworks, cheeses, bread, beer...). At least I think I took in too many calories. I didn't count them and I didn't regulate what I had eaten. So I figured it would be one of those weeks where the number either rises or doesn't budge.

At any rate, I'm trying to think of what is helpful to me at this point, and what is facilitating change.

• Journaling my calories. Paying attention to portions. It seems super simplified, and it is. But, for me, it's a true snapshot of how I'm eating, what I'm spending my calories on, and where I could improve. I use sparkpeople.com, but there are many other programs.
• Tracking my exercise. Reality check for me, and often it is motivation. Yesterday I was burning with heat, but still called a friend to meet up at the dog park and take a little walk with the dogs. We walked at a slower pace, for about a mile. But that mile was better than me butt-sitting on the couch. I'm more purposeful in my movement. Cleaning, walking... just to get more burnage of calories in.
• Eating pre-packaged meals. I'm not big on prepared meals. I've compromised because my weight loss is important; they've been a lifesaver for me. So much of my overeating and bad food choices is based on circumstance (busy, tired, can't think up a proper meal). Supplementing a meal a day, especially on the days where I'm down to 300 calories and I need dinner, has helped.

Speaking of movement. I think I have more energy.

My clothes fit much better. I still visualize myself as a 300-pound woman, though, rather than one who is closer to 250 than 300. I know I'm not up at 338 (that was a long time ago). My brain is still having a hard time keeping up with my body changes. My shape is the same, just smaller, which may confuse my brain.

I've gotten a lot more compliments recently. My mother noticed yesterday. My husband keeps telling me that I'm smaller. My kids haven't said anything. It will be interesting to see when/if they do.

In about a month we're supposed to go on a camping/canoe trip. I'm a little nervous. I don't wear shorts. I haven't even tried on my swimsuit. Just recently I wore my first sleeveless shirt. It doesn't make sense to me that at 338 I was resigned to being fat and finally got myself to the point of not caring what anyone else said - I was going to live my life and enjoy it. And now I'm 70 pounds lighter and am concerned about wearing shorts?

Oy.

I'm at the lowest weight I've been at in over 10 years (or more... I can't remember!!!) and I should be enjoying myself, my body and my family and not worrying about these things.

Today I will choose to be happy about where I am, where I've been and the hopeful goal of having to buy new clothes this fall. I can't wait to go down a pant size.