My Last Post Was Almost A Month Ago

Sigh.

I suppose it is bound to happen. Stalls. Gains. Bumps, Fall-offs. Slips.

I don't know what you'd call what is happening to me, but I'd label it as something that started with a stall out at 252, and has been frustrating ever since.

It's been a month and nothing is changing. I've hovered between 252 and 254, but I don't want to hover. Hovering, at this stage in the game, will lead to eventual gaining weight. I need to continue to lose or the frustration and emotions will set in, and I'm not ready to deal with that right now.

I can think of reasons I may be stalling:

• alcohol
• lack of intentional movement
• artificial sweeteners

I can think of reasons I should be losing:

• staying within my calorie range
• more movement than normal

I guess I have to remove some of the reasons from the "why I might be stalling" category before I can rightfully complain.

So, here I go - putting myself on one of those 7-day jump starts on one of the worst weeks to be pulling reigns in.

Rarely is there a solid week that is a "good" week to do it, especially in summer. This week we have a graduation, I have my girl's night out, and Father's Day. Three "difficulty" days that could introduce alcohol and artificial sweeteners.

To be fair to myself, I will allow myself two drinks on each of those days, and allow myself artificial sweetener with the drinks. But remind me, then, that I can't start crying like a injured baby when/if the scale doesn't move next week. REMIND ME.

I also need to get to the gym, or get moving outside. I'll be honest, I haven't gone to the gym in two months. As much as it always seems to stall me out, I really don't want to stay where I am. So I've been contemplating getting back there, if only for two days a week. I'm not a big Gym Freak, and I don't think it is a necessity to lose weight, but I think there is a mentality that goes along with getting your but in the gym. It's mental.

Would two days on the treadmill kill me?

I really wanted to leave June lower than 250, and I'm not certain I can do that. But I need to, for my own brain. Please help me.

My goal for this week (and I WILL be back here to hold myself accountable):

• 2 times at the gym 
• stay within calories 6 out of 7 days no, 7 out of 7 - quit compromising, BG
• at least 5000 steps on my step tracker each day
• exercise at least three times this week
• stay off the artificial sweeteners (Atkins bars, candies, etc. - need to retrain my taste buds)

As much as it feels like I'm torturing myself, I have to remember how awesomelyFREAKINGgood it has been feeling to fit well into clothes, feel them getting looser, see my face melting. 

That

is 

better

than

sitting

around

or

aspartame

or

malitol

or

getting tipsy

or

stuffing my face

has

ever

ever

ever

felt

100 POUNDS IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER

254.6

Two pounds down. Interesting.
Kind of humbled because I was ready to start whining about how frustrating it is when hard work doesn't pay off on the scale, and then Mr. Scale shoves that right back in my face.

I was completely prepared, although ready to revolt, for another 256/257 weigh in today. I was scared because I can't seem to figure things out, or get results from what I feel like is hard work.

The past week has gone OK, but I have been dealing with some old issues and cravings. Like I said in the post a couple days ago, I drank too much on Friday night. Or I ate too little. Combo of both. We had Mother's Day. I didn't go too crazy, but I did "splurge" and get these:

It was a compromise between eating the sugary version, the sugar free version, or nothing - and letting my cravings run wild. Have I told you I've had cravings? It's been kind of a scary week. So, I settled on those babies and ate 3 of them. My boys ate the other ones. It hit the spot.

I don't miss too much right now as far as food goes, but I also know that I'm going to be losing for a while, and then trying to maintain. I can't get stuck in the rut of being militant about things to the point of failure, which is kind of my tendency. I need to find that sweet spot happy medium.

For the record, the past few days I really ramped up a couple things:

• Fat intake (adding coconut oil to my coffee, along with the cream, 2x per day). Remember I'm doing a Low Carb, High Fat way of eating (more on that in another post). My calories have bumped up a bit to between 1800 and 2000, and my fat intake has been about 160, carbs less than 70g. When I factor in fiber, it's been less than 50g per day.*

• Water intake (shooting for at least 64oz. - I'd like to up it from there). When I feel thirsty, I know I haven't given myself enough water. I feel thirsty often. 8-8oz. glasses of water really isn't cutting it, and is my bare minimum. Oftentimes I don't hit that mark. I'm really working to exceed that daily.

• Movement/exercise (just ramped it up a bit - have slacked off). I normally shoot for 3-20min. walks per week or 3 miles. I want to, in the end, be more active than that, though. With my sedentary job, I think I need to fit in more exercise. I'm not running or doing anything like that at this time, but shaking it up a bit. I could do 3-20min. walks when I was 330 pounds. I should be able to do more than that, now.

*One thing I notice about this Holy Grail of Fat/Water/Movement - my skin. I think it's mostly the fat and water, but it feels so much better. When I started upping my fat I noticed that my skin almost felt like it had a protective layer on it when I shower. It's great.

I don't know if that kick-started things for me, or the combination, but I'm happy to have been able to lose a bit again. Still shooting for getting below 250 this month. I know I shouldn't have my goals married so directly to the scale, but I also know that I don't want to hang out here forever. The longer I hang out here, the more I've been feeling like my body is inclined to start pushing upwards again. It settled so nicely in that 265 zone that I feel it pulling back there again. I want to get far away from that and reset my "meter" again, God willing!

My FitBit is helping a bit, though it's only been a couple days. I like that it tracks my steps, though I don't think it is the most accurate, but it is still another tool for me. I'm definitely below that 10,000 step range. This morning I got up and did a 2-mile Walk Away The Pounds and got some steps in right off the bat, but it registered me as doing 1.5 miles. A little frustrating.

Summed up - today was a good weigh-in day. They aren't always good, as we all know.