I don't really want to talk about my weight. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of working on it, thinking about it, and dealing with it.
I wish I could wake up tomorrow and have gastric bypass surgery.
I have a few friends that have had it and they all look great.
They are all living life.
I am. Sort of.
I did get another job. Very part-time. I guess I should be happy. I don't know what I want, which doesn't help. This gives me the flexibility to figure that out while still providing a bit of cash to the flow, I suppose.
I'm semi-excited. All in all it's probably the best. I'm so blessed in that area, yet I seem to snub my nose at it. I've been off for a bit and it's been nice. It wasn't really enough time, though. I was hoping to leave town, visit family, do some things I've been wanting to do for a while. It's not going to happen though. New job starts. Even if it's part-time, it's a new job, and it's exhausting. But I did get to a good point last year with my old job where I was able to find some time for me, get a routine, and pay more attention to taking care of myself.
Right now I'm just trying to hit 8000 steps on my tracker. That's about it. My weight remains a dismal 283. Last year this time I was 30 pounds lighter. I just need to have the scale start winding back that way. 10 pounds I'd feel better. Ten stinking pounds.
It's amazing how hard that is!
(Each
represents 1 pound gone)
338|
| 286
53 gone, 87 more to go to 198
Showing posts with label step tracking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label step tracking. Show all posts
250.8
Last time I was 251 on the button.
I didn't expect to be anywhere but up, so I'll take it. I think there's a good chance I'll be below 250 by the end of June if I don't lose my head. I've got about 10 days to keep it together.
I've been sluggish all week, but trying to keep my activity up. Yesterday after getting off work I FORCED myself to go for a walk before getting too comfortable at home.
I took a nice, long walk (my walks have gone from 20 minutes to 30 minutes and now to 40 minutes to be considered a real walk). I didn't listen to headphones, I just went. It was nice out, but warm. I relished each patch of shade, each breeze. It was like honey.
I went for one more quick walk again last night (20 minutes) after it cooled off. It's nice to go for a walk because I want to, because it feels good, rather than for torture in the name of exercise.
My Fitbit topped out at 12,000-something steps, which was good.
Today I got up, got the kids ready to go do their things, and told myself I was going to the gym.
NEVER DO I WANT TO GO TO THE GYM.
Just want to make sure that's clear if it hasn't already been made so. *grin*
My plan got thwarted and I ended up talking myself out of gym time. Instead I went on a bike ride that burned a hole through my lungs and set my throat on fire. First bike ride of the season and I literally had to pray for strength on each hill.
It was a good workout.
I hadn't eaten, though, before it - so maybe that's why I felt kind of tanked? But I do notice with my low carb diet I don't get that shaky I-need-a-snack bull-ony that I used to get when I'd work out.
I still feel like I could use a cool down walk or something, I don't know. Or maybe I'm just antsy today. A little of both. I might wait until the weather cools down a bit and go for a walk. I might not. The power of choice. I've been contemplating biking to work, but I just don't know.
All in all, I'm hanging in here. I realized yesterday that I might not be losing at the rate I'd like, but I am losing. And even if I weren't, I'm maintaining my loss. Maintenance is no joke, either. I wasn't sure I'd get to where I am. It's been so slow, but somewhat steady. I sure wish it were faster. But this is my body, and I continue to hope that slow means permanent. That slow means I'm adjusting and adapting, and my body is ready to make this the new me.
This also means that, at the rate I'm going, I'll only be 10 more pounds down this fall (240), and I really wanted to lose 100 pounds by the time the kids go back to school (238). That's only 2 pounds off. My "real goal" was to get to 228. I just wanted to get past that 100 pound hump decisively. I really hope I can do it.
I feel like hitting the 250s was a new chapter for me, and getting below that 100 pound mark will be as well. Then getting below the 200s. Then maintaining.
By this time next year I should be into maintenance, right?
I didn't expect to be anywhere but up, so I'll take it. I think there's a good chance I'll be below 250 by the end of June if I don't lose my head. I've got about 10 days to keep it together.
I've been sluggish all week, but trying to keep my activity up. Yesterday after getting off work I FORCED myself to go for a walk before getting too comfortable at home.
I took a nice, long walk (my walks have gone from 20 minutes to 30 minutes and now to 40 minutes to be considered a real walk). I didn't listen to headphones, I just went. It was nice out, but warm. I relished each patch of shade, each breeze. It was like honey.
I went for one more quick walk again last night (20 minutes) after it cooled off. It's nice to go for a walk because I want to, because it feels good, rather than for torture in the name of exercise.
My Fitbit topped out at 12,000-something steps, which was good.
Today I got up, got the kids ready to go do their things, and told myself I was going to the gym.
NEVER DO I WANT TO GO TO THE GYM.
Just want to make sure that's clear if it hasn't already been made so. *grin*
My plan got thwarted and I ended up talking myself out of gym time. Instead I went on a bike ride that burned a hole through my lungs and set my throat on fire. First bike ride of the season and I literally had to pray for strength on each hill.
It was a good workout.
I hadn't eaten, though, before it - so maybe that's why I felt kind of tanked? But I do notice with my low carb diet I don't get that shaky I-need-a-snack bull-ony that I used to get when I'd work out.
I still feel like I could use a cool down walk or something, I don't know. Or maybe I'm just antsy today. A little of both. I might wait until the weather cools down a bit and go for a walk. I might not. The power of choice. I've been contemplating biking to work, but I just don't know.
All in all, I'm hanging in here. I realized yesterday that I might not be losing at the rate I'd like, but I am losing. And even if I weren't, I'm maintaining my loss. Maintenance is no joke, either. I wasn't sure I'd get to where I am. It's been so slow, but somewhat steady. I sure wish it were faster. But this is my body, and I continue to hope that slow means permanent. That slow means I'm adjusting and adapting, and my body is ready to make this the new me.
This also means that, at the rate I'm going, I'll only be 10 more pounds down this fall (240), and I really wanted to lose 100 pounds by the time the kids go back to school (238). That's only 2 pounds off. My "real goal" was to get to 228. I just wanted to get past that 100 pound hump decisively. I really hope I can do it.
I feel like hitting the 250s was a new chapter for me, and getting below that 100 pound mark will be as well. Then getting below the 200s. Then maintaining.
By this time next year I should be into maintenance, right?
My Last Post Was Almost A Month Ago
Sigh.
I suppose it is bound to happen. Stalls. Gains. Bumps, Fall-offs. Slips.
I don't know what you'd call what is happening to me, but I'd label it as something that started with a stall out at 252, and has been frustrating ever since.
It's been a month and nothing is changing. I've hovered between 252 and 254, but I don't want to hover. Hovering, at this stage in the game, will lead to eventual gaining weight. I need to continue to lose or the frustration and emotions will set in, and I'm not ready to deal with that right now.
I can think of reasons I may be stalling:
I can think of reasons I should be losing:
I guess I have to remove some of the reasons from the "why I might be stalling" category before I can rightfully complain.
So, here I go - putting myself on one of those 7-day jump starts on one of the worst weeks to be pulling reigns in.
Rarely is there a solid week that is a "good" week to do it, especially in summer. This week we have a graduation, I have my girl's night out, and Father's Day. Three "difficulty" days that could introduce alcohol and artificial sweeteners.
To be fair to myself, I will allow myself two drinks on each of those days, and allow myself artificial sweetener with the drinks. But remind me, then, that I can't start crying like a injured baby when/if the scale doesn't move next week. REMIND ME.
I also need to get to the gym, or get moving outside. I'll be honest, I haven't gone to the gym in two months. As much as it always seems to stall me out, I really don't want to stay where I am. So I've been contemplating getting back there, if only for two days a week. I'm not a big Gym Freak, and I don't think it is a necessity to lose weight, but I think there is a mentality that goes along with getting your but in the gym. It's mental.
Would two days on the treadmill kill me?
I really wanted to leave June lower than 250, and I'm not certain I can do that. But I need to, for my own brain. Please help me.
My goal for this week (and I WILL be back here to hold myself accountable):
I suppose it is bound to happen. Stalls. Gains. Bumps, Fall-offs. Slips.
I don't know what you'd call what is happening to me, but I'd label it as something that started with a stall out at 252, and has been frustrating ever since.
It's been a month and nothing is changing. I've hovered between 252 and 254, but I don't want to hover. Hovering, at this stage in the game, will lead to eventual gaining weight. I need to continue to lose or the frustration and emotions will set in, and I'm not ready to deal with that right now.
I can think of reasons I may be stalling:
- alcohol
- lack of intentional movement
- artificial sweeteners
I can think of reasons I should be losing:
- staying within my calorie range
- more movement than normal
I guess I have to remove some of the reasons from the "why I might be stalling" category before I can rightfully complain.
So, here I go - putting myself on one of those 7-day jump starts on one of the worst weeks to be pulling reigns in.
Rarely is there a solid week that is a "good" week to do it, especially in summer. This week we have a graduation, I have my girl's night out, and Father's Day. Three "difficulty" days that could introduce alcohol and artificial sweeteners.
To be fair to myself, I will allow myself two drinks on each of those days, and allow myself artificial sweetener with the drinks. But remind me, then, that I can't start crying like a injured baby when/if the scale doesn't move next week. REMIND ME.
I also need to get to the gym, or get moving outside. I'll be honest, I haven't gone to the gym in two months. As much as it always seems to stall me out, I really don't want to stay where I am. So I've been contemplating getting back there, if only for two days a week. I'm not a big Gym Freak, and I don't think it is a necessity to lose weight, but I think there is a mentality that goes along with getting your but in the gym. It's mental.
Would two days on the treadmill kill me?
I really wanted to leave June lower than 250, and I'm not certain I can do that. But I need to, for my own brain. Please help me.
My goal for this week (and I WILL be back here to hold myself accountable):
- 2 times at the gym
- stay within calories 6 out of 7 days no, 7 out of 7 - quit compromising, BG
- at least 5000 steps on my step tracker each day
- exercise at least three times this week
- stay off the artificial sweeteners (Atkins bars, candies, etc. - need to retrain my taste buds)
As much as it feels like I'm torturing myself, I have to remember how awesomelyFREAKINGgood it has been feeling to fit well into clothes, feel them getting looser, see my face melting.
That
is
better
than
sitting
around
or
aspartame
or
malitol
or
getting tipsy
or
stuffing my face
has
ever
ever
ever
felt
100 POUNDS IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER
I Bought A FitBit Zip
. I've used it for a day, and so far find it interesting. It will take a bit getting used to (last night I fell asleep with it pinned to my shirt), but I really don't notice that it's there.Anyone else have one?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)