250.8

Last time I was 251 on the button.

I didn't expect to be anywhere but up, so I'll take it. I think there's a good chance I'll be below 250 by the end of June if I don't lose my head. I've got about 10 days to keep it together.

I've been sluggish all week, but trying to keep my activity up. Yesterday after getting off work I FORCED myself to go for a walk before getting too comfortable at home.

I took a nice, long walk (my walks have gone from 20 minutes to 30 minutes and now to 40 minutes to be considered a real walk). I didn't listen to headphones, I just went. It was nice out, but warm. I relished each patch of shade, each breeze. It was like honey.

I went for one more quick walk again last night (20 minutes) after it cooled off. It's nice to go for a walk because I want to, because it feels good, rather than for torture in the name of exercise.

My Fitbit topped out at 12,000-something steps, which was good.

Today I got up, got the kids ready to go do their things, and told myself I was going to the gym.

NEVER DO I WANT TO GO TO THE GYM.

Just want to make sure that's clear if it hasn't already been made so. *grin*

My plan got thwarted and I ended up talking myself out of gym time. Instead I went on a bike ride that burned a hole through my lungs and set my throat on fire. First bike ride of the season and I literally had to pray for strength on each hill.

It was a good workout.

I hadn't eaten, though, before it - so maybe that's why I felt kind of tanked? But I do notice with my low carb diet I don't get that shaky I-need-a-snack bull-ony that I used to get when I'd work out.

I still feel like I could use a cool down walk or something, I don't know. Or maybe I'm just antsy today. A little of both. I might wait until the weather cools down a bit and go for a walk. I might not. The power of choice. I've been contemplating biking to work, but I just don't know.

All in all, I'm hanging in here. I realized yesterday that I might not be losing at the rate I'd like, but I am losing. And even if I weren't, I'm maintaining my loss. Maintenance is no joke, either. I wasn't sure I'd get to where I am. It's been so slow, but somewhat steady. I sure wish it were faster. But this is my body, and I continue to hope that slow means permanent. That slow means I'm adjusting and adapting, and my body is ready to make this the new me.

This also means that, at the rate I'm going, I'll only be 10 more pounds down this fall (240), and I really wanted to lose 100 pounds by the time the kids go back to school (238). That's only 2 pounds off. My "real goal" was to get to 228. I just wanted to get past that 100 pound hump decisively. I really hope I can do it.

I feel like hitting the 250s was a new chapter for me, and getting below that 100 pound mark will be as well. Then getting below the 200s. Then maintaining.

By this time next year I should be into maintenance, right?

Exercise Making Me Tired?

Is it possible that exercise makes you tired?
And hungry?

I found an article the other day (I'll have to dig up the link again) that spoke to exercising and hunger, and why some people don't lose because they are ravished, eat more, and stay the same weight.

I know people say that they have more energy when they workout. Maybe they mean stamina? Or do they truly mean energy? I would say I might have more stamina... but not energy. Maybe it's something that will come with time. I find I'm tired, my body is sore, and I'm way more hungry.

But my body craves the movement. I can tell.

Yesterday I was busy cooking dinner, and more than anything would have liked to get down to watching something on Netflix, but I had a strong urge to get going for a nighttime walk with my dog. So I set off, taking the hill straight off, and logged about 43 minutes of walking. I didn't get the distance I get on the treadmill, but then I was wearing boots and avoiding ice at times. But I was at a decent clip and was sweating when I got home.

The air felt... so good. The night breeze, just getting out felt good.

But it was a "rest" day.

Now today I'm supposed to hit the gym after work and I'm still beat.

I'm not a die-hard gym person, and I do enjoy walks, hikes, and biking outdoors.

So I'm contemplating today switching to the bike instead of the treadmill. Just to switch it up a bit, to give different muscles some work, and to give my walking muscles a break. We shall see.

I will still hit the circuit after (works arms and a bit of legs). I don't like to have to lug a separate bag to work and everything, but I could find a million excuses not to go.

I don't have an gym bag - something I'd like. I'm saving that for a month's worth of going consistently  and the hope of getting under 260 at some point in the next decade. I'm not sure what will come first.

Weigh In: I Went To The Gym

Weigh in: 268

No. Change.

As frustrating as that is, I have to let it go. On Monday it said 274. But that was with one of the leg coasters from the Wii missing, and I just couldn't tell what was going on, so I postponed posting it until today.

I will never understand why eating really good and exercising results in a stalled scale for me. I don't get it. I'm afraid to eat normally and exercise, but maybe that's what I should have done for 50 - 60 pounds. Pick one or the other, so not to discourage myself.

'Cause I admit, I'm slightly discouraged.

I stayed within my calories and exercised enough to burn 900 calories... and nothing. Crazy stuff.

Stupid scale. Stupid body.

- - - - -

On another note, I went to the gym. I got on the treadmill. I walked 2 miles at a 20 minute mile pace (40 min. total). I kicked it up to 3.1 at an incline of 1.5 for about 10 of those minutes, then alternated a bit. I was hot and felt horrible. And then some dude decided to come run on the treadmill right next to me in a near empty gym. His friends were five 'mills down the row. I was distracted, mostly wondering what was in his head that he needed to do that.

Probably nothing.

Maybe a chubby chaser.

Maybe liked the 'mills by the mirror.

I was so happy to be in the cool down of my workout, rather than just starting. It took all my strength not to move away to a different one.

Maybe I'm not a gym person.

Because secretly, I feel like I gave in to The Man when I got that membership. Just a little bit.

I know. I'm weird!

- - - - -

This sinus issue is killing me right now. I think that's what is making me drag on every day. Yesterday I tilted my head back at work and just let the stuff drain down the back of my throat. It was disgusting and liberating at the same time. But I just feel rocked right now. Tired, tired, and more tired. Makes it hard to motivate myself.

But I'm thinking of getting in at the gym again today. I don't know if I'll do the treadmill, 'cause my feetsies are a little sore. I might do the bike, or explore the 30-minute stations. We'll see.